Joke of the Day ....

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Two lumps of coal were talking at work.

"I hear Fred's become a diamond."

"Yeah, he's been under a lot of pressure."

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Opening "worst" sentences from the Bulwer-Lytton contest of bad writing:

''It was the third day of the Iditarod sled race, and a frigid wind blew ice crystals into Preston's grizzled, windburned face as he urged his dogs on: 'Mush! Let's go, Jason, Jennifer, Jeremy! Move it out, Chelsea, Brian! Come on, Buffy, Muffy, mush!' '' (Michael J. Saxton, Davis, Calif.)



''Wilbur Johnson, a farmer, a man of courage and gentle wisdom, a man with his feet planted foursquare in the furrows of life, started this day as any day, but was oblivious to the John Deere of destiny inexorably bearing down upon him.'' (Richard Manny and Dana Kober-Manny, Tampa)


''As Maria walked along the beach, the clouds grew angry, the sea raged, the wind howled and the sand was just plain irritated.'' (Jeff Kruse, Van Nuys, Calif.)


'' 'Rumbling, schmumbling!' retorted Bulonius to his wife's alarm at the sounds coming from Mt. Vesuvius, 'that stupid volcano always makes noise - and besides, our insurance agent at Pompeii Mutual says that if it does erupt we'll be covered.' '' (John L. Ashman, Houston, Texas).


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