Sookie's Birthday Surprise: December 2019

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Story - Make Your Mark

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Make Your Mark

Sid stifled a yawn as he tattooed yet another rose on another ankle. He kept his concentration on point though, because Sid - owner, manager and sole employee of Sid's Unique Tattoos - had heart felt pride in his art.

When he was done he told his client the proper after care routine, gave her a sheet of paper with the same instructions, and a small plastic bag with sample tubes of antibiotic ointment, alcohol wipes, sterile gauze and cotton balls, and a card with emergency phone numbers written large in red in case any of the warning signs of infection set in.

He gratefully accepted the $20.00 tip, both because he could use the money and because it would be evidence of the client's approval of her tattoo in case she decided to sue him in the future. It was a sad fact that avoiding law suits was uppermost in Sid's mind. He had seen too many great artists sink into poverty and give up their shops because a law suit had sunk them.

Sid also kept video records of each transaction, filmed on four tiny hidden cameras, and he paid monthly for cloud space to store them. No claims of improper behavior, unsterile conditions, failure to receive after care instructions or any other litigious complaint could be made without video evidence to counter it.

This thought made Sid remember he wanted to call his mother and wish her a happy birthday. His mother was a lawyer and had given him a punch list of safeguards to avoid disaster. This was about a year after she had recovered from her shock when he told her he was dropping out of law school to become a tattoo artist.

Before Sid could go to the door and turn the Open sign to Closed, a man in an expensive business suit came in. This guy looked like trouble, but Sid kept his expression neutral behind his massive red beard and rimless glasses.

But, as it turned out to Sid's relief, this guy, Frank Heart, was a salesman! He had a line of inks that he and his brother had invented, superior inks that stayed bright, lessened the risk of allergic reaction or infection, and was less expensive than the high quality inks Sid used. He gave Sid a list of artists and their contact information, famous artists in the community that were already using these inks and could give him endorsements. Sid recognized many of the names. He promised he would check it out and accepted several order forms and a selection of samples to try out.

Frank shook his hand, admired his shop, and showed him a portrait of his wife he had inked on his forearm. It was among the best jobs Sid had ever seen. They parted with a feeling of rapport having been established. Sid felt positive about this deal.

Frank Heart, (not his real name), sat in his car and checked off Sid's' shop. He had a few more small shops to visit in the surrounding towns, then he would call it a day. All the major artists, big city shops with multiple employees, and conventions had been contacted in the past three years. As the superior ink became more well known and widely used, they could count on the industry itself to spread the word and they could count on the lower prices, enthusiastic endorsements and long term beauty of the tattoo to sell their product. In fact, a second factory making these special inks would be opening in Berlin too. The plan was to eventually dominate the market worldwide.

Just how special these inks actually were was a closely guarded secret. The organization "Frank" worked for had developed a way to infuse nanobots into the ink. Once enough were injected they would migrate, clumping together in tiny specific nano machines. A transmitter for location, a programmer for the neural networks in the brain, and the ability to shut down the electrical impulses of the heart.

This essentially gave his organization complete control over the person. Between blackmail, direct mental control, and in the drastic case scenario sudden death, the organization was going to do what could never be done by any other method, bring peace and order.

Crime would be eliminated. Unhealthy behaviors would be replaced with healthy ones. Anger and rage would be toned down to mild annoyance. Guns, drugs, and risky behavior would become repulsive. War would end, violence would dwindle, self destructive behavior would stop. Since the nanobots could be reprogrammed at will the behaviors could be fine tuned as the tide of world misbehavior slowly turned. Once the next phase of the inks was perfected it would replace conventional food coloring as safer and less expensive. This would further spread the New World Order to those without tattoos.

The Organization had a vision of Utopia, a vision "Frank" shared. He checked his smart phone and his wife's bots revealed that she was making Christmas cookies and talking to her mother on speaker phone. He had a tough time talking his wife into getting matching tattoos, but it was worth it! He knew where she was and what she was doing every second of the day and night.

Of course the Organization knew what he was doing too, but so what? He was doing their work, changing the world for the better. He felt the surge of pride and joy he always felt when he thought about his small role in this next step of mankind. He drove off, going to the next shop "Make Your Mark", to sell his product.

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Funny Reboots of Maxims

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One person can make a difference, if that person is, like, Bill Gates or
whatzisname, the speaker of the House of Representatives.

(Russell Beland, Springfield)

Aspire to greatness. But remember that no one ever assassinated a
refrigerator repairman.

(Bird Waring, New York)

A high tide lifts all boats, except those with a big gaping hole in the
bottom.

(Bobby Welsh, Annandale)

There are none so blind as those who have been in an accident at a fertilizer
factory.

(Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

You can run but you can't hide, except apparently along the Afghan-Pakistani
border.

(Bob Wallace, Reston)

Say not that honor is the child of boldness, nor believe that the hazard of
life alone can pay the price of it; it is not the action that is due, but to
the manner of performing it. You got all that? Me neither.

(Chris Doyle, Forsyth, Mo.)

You can do anything if you want it bad enough. That is why we see so many
people who can fly by flapping their arms.

(Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

Every failure is a step to success up a ladder that will eventually collapse
under the weight of all those failures.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Of course, so does
falling down a flight of stairs.

(Richard Doty, Washington)

Never say die. I've tried, and it doesn't actually make people die.

(Tom McCudden, Durham, N.C.)

Never underestimate your ability to overestimate your ability.

(Donna Lewis, Vienna)

Laughter is the best medicine, but in certain situations the Heimlich
maneuver may be more appropriate.

(Chuck Smith, Woodbridge)

It takes a village to raise a child to hate all of the people in the next
village.

(Charles Star, New York)

The key to someone's heart is never lost: It's just that the locks were
changed 'cause you're some sort of psycho.

(Jean Sorensen, Herndon)

You have to learn to crawl before you can grovel.

(Art Grinath, Takoma Park)

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you're
probably the executioner.

(Elden Carnahan, Laurel)

Every dog has his day. Of course, his day consists of smelling other dogs'
butts.

(Mark Briscoe, Arlington)

You've got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find the prince. But he probably
isn't going to be interested in some frog-kisser.

(Amanda Richards, Palatine, Ill.)

True beauty is on the inside, where no one will ever see it.

(David Iscoe, Washington)

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Monday, December 30, 2019

Nook Audio

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https://www.nookaudiobooks.com/audiobook/105558/playing-with-fire

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Joke and book quotes

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Why wasn't the kitten playing?

Because he was on paws.

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“The closer you got to someone, the more it would destroy you when they were inevitably gone.”

Julie Kagawa, The Immortal Rules

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“Ah, come now. I look like an angel, but I'm not. The old rules of nature encompass many creatures like me. We're beautiful like the diamond-backed snake, or the striped tiger, yet we're merciless killers”

Anne Rice

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“No one told me holy water had chlorine in it.”

― Melanie Fair, Wolves Among Sheep

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Kindle

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The Battle of Shiroyama: The History and Legacy of the Samurai’s Last Stand in Japan

https://www.amazon.com/Battle-Shiroyama-History-Legacy-Samurais-ebook/dp/B0838196MS/ref=tmm_other_meta_binding_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Emperor Hirohito: The Life and Legacy of Japan’s Ruler during World War II

https://www.amazon.com/Emperor-Hirohito-Legacy-Japans-during-ebook/dp/B08381CVHS/ref=tmm_other_meta_binding_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Rome and Germania

https://www.amazon.com/Rome-Germania-Conflicts-Interactions-Germanic-ebook/dp/B0837ZPSJY/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_51?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=K60TEVZ4KW6GDMGAAJKD

Mustafa Kemal Atatürk

https://www.amazon.com/Mustafa-Kemal-Atat%C3%BCrk-Republic-Turkey-ebook/dp/B0837Z5TDP/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_55?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=K60TEVZ4KW6GDMGAAJKD

The Italian Liberation Corps

https://www.amazon.com/Italian-Liberation-Corps-History-Soldiers-ebook/dp/B0837ZZTY7/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_58?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=K60TEVZ4KW6GDMGAAJKD

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Sunday, December 29, 2019

Kindle

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Pharos and Pharillon

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07XBX2SK7/ref=docs-os-doi_0

Chakra And Crystals For Beginners

https://www.amazon.com/Chakra-Crystals-Beginners-Including-Awakening-ebook/dp/B08339VC4V/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

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Joke of the day ...

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Memory Class

An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association.

A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.

"What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor.

"Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered.

"You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?"

"A rose?" asked the neighbor.

"Yes, that's it," replied the old man.

He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?"

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Kindle

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Titanic 1912: The original news reporting of the sinking of the Titanic (History of the RMS Titanic series Book 1)

https://www.amazon.com/Titanic-1912-original-reporting-sinking-ebook/dp/B007PDKGL8/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Ubered: My Life As A Rideshare Drive

https://www.amazon.com/Ubered-My-Life-Rideshare-Driver-ebook/dp/B01LMEN284/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

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Saturday, December 28, 2019

Reposting of my Godric story ...

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(Godric was Eric Northman's Maker.)

Godric's Journal - December 31, 1899 - The Lost Boy

Despite what had been written in penny dreadfuls, the life of a vampire is not a ghoulish one, at least not for a vampire such as I was at the turn of the century. By living carefully, the clever use of aliases, and finally settling in that most civilized of cities, London, the dawn of the 1900's found me living a carefree life with more social invitations than I could satisfy.

I was rumoured to be the sufferer of severe migraine headaches, making me sensitive to light. I started this rumour myself to account for my absence during the day. A medical doctor in my employ validated this diagnosis, a diagnosis made without ever examining me. A little glamour and a monthly cheque was all that was needed to maintain his cooperation.

I say carefree, but of course that is an exaggeration. I was just beginning to experience the faintest ray of hope that there might be redemption for me if I devoted my energies and resources to doing good among humans. I went out most nights, not for selfish reasons, but to see where my efforts might be most useful to relieve the suffering and want so many humans experienced.

The squalor, filth, disease, misconduct and horror to be found among the poor and degenerate classes does not bear describing. My tiny efforts might not make much of a difference, but it was my fervent hope that they might bring some infinitesimal degree of relief. It did me much good to help where I could. I focused my efforts mainly on children, while never doing anything to harm or frighten them. If a vampire, already once reborn from the grave, could be said to have yet a third rebirth, that would be my state of mind in late December 1899.

New Year's Eve at the turn of the millennium was a major social occasion. Balls and parties were planned in all the great houses, each one determined to outdo the others in splendour and extravagance. I had a six inch thick stack of beautifully engraved invitations, many of them from families with an eligible daughter. My obvious wealth and mysterious origins aroused a great deal of curiosity, and my unmarried status engendered hope in the breasts of mothers who wished their daughters to marry well. I immediately eliminated those invitations for obvious reasons.

Finally I settled on one costumed ball at the Brandt residence. They had no eligible children and no plans to try and dominate my social life. They were connected to several charities I was considering for my donations and I wanted to get a first hand look at what their character and demeanor was. I was a shrewd judge of character, and if that failed, I was able to glamour anyone I could get alone for a few moments. One way or another I would have my answer by night's end.

A costume for the evening was no problem. I had worn so many different styles of clothing over the last 1900 years I would have been comfortable in anything. I settled on a brown homespun tunic, brown tights, a wide belt and pointed flat heeled suede boots. I had my hair lightened for the evening and I put blue around my eyes.

The lighter hair color, the impish clothing, and the improvement in the unrelenting guilt I had been feeling over my past life gave me a more youthful appearance than usual. I needed to wear a long sleeved knitted green shirt under the tunic to cover my tattoos and brand. Nothing like them had been seen by anyone in the British Isles for over a thousand years.

The ball turned out to be, as expected, tedious and unrewarding. I did get Mr. Brandt, dressed like Henry the Eighth, to step aside in the garden with me to discuss a large donation I was considering. While I had him in the cold pale moonlight I glamoured him and learned, to my disappointment but not to my surprise, that his fund raising efforts were mainly to benefit himself and Mrs. Brandt. I was as cynical and jaded as someone observing human nature can be, so I did not react with anger. I did plant the suggestion that he and Mrs. Brandt would be happier in a small cottage so the proceeds of his lavish estate could be distributed to the needy.

Mrs. Brandt, elaborately costumed like Marie Antoinette, asked for my help in the pantry. Once she got me alone in the secluded room she proceeded to fondle my genitals and place my hand on her heaving bosom. She kept telling me how young I seemed, how delightful I was, how she could show me the ways of love.

She told me she was experienced in the sensual arts, which I didn't doubt, but when she tried to place my unwilling hand between her sweaty thighs I had enough of her lechery. I glamoured her to discover that she routinely took advantage of the youthful boys their charity "helped" with whatever small portion of the donated funds was allocated for that purpose. This reflection of my own sexual misdeeds enraged me, and if I had not vowed to never kill a human again I would have dispatched her on the spot.

I did glamour her to experience horrible cramping pains and loose bowels whenever she looked with desire upon a young man. When she awoke from her glamour the sight of me sent her running to her privy pot. I smiled with satisfaction when I, using my very keen vampire hearing, heard her moans of pain in her bedroom as she strained trying to relieve herself, squatting on her chamber pot like the loathsome toad she was.

Having satisfied myself the Society for the Edification of the Young was nothing but a swindle, I took my leave, smirking inwardly when my host apologized that the hostess was "indisposed". As soon as I could I took to the sky, feeling the icy winter air rushing through my hair and over my skin as a blessing after the stuffy indoors and the suffocating press of party goers. The stars twinkled above as they had since I was a human child. I always found the sight of them to be reassuring.

As I flew I saw a large third floor window open and a big black and white shaggy dog looking out. I lightly entered the house while reassuring the dog with the special way I had of communicating with animals. The beast licked my hand then went in the corner and laid down. The large room was a children's bedroom and playroom, filled with toys, books, and the quiet breathing of the three sleeping children.

Each had a little bed, each held a stuffed toy, and their angelic faces had slight smiles plumping their rosy cheeks. I had spent so much time of late with the downtrodden, the poor, the very dregs of society, it was amazing to me to see these beautiful healthy loved children sleeping so peacefully in their clean beds. My eyes drank in the sight of them without an impure thought.

Suddenly a smallish man with a broad brow and modest mustache appeared with a lamp. He saw me and said, "You, boy, what are you doing here?" He spoke in a whisper so as not to awaken the children. He had a Scottish accent.

I had no answer for him, so I looked down at the ground. He came closer. "Boy, how did you get in here?" His tone was not hostile or angry, merely curious and astounded to find me in the nursery.

I still did not answer him and I turned to go. I did not want to glamour him because he might suffer some damage from it. Most did not, but occasionally a human with an exceptionally weak will was hard to rouse, or remained dazed for quite some time. He might be the sole caretaker of these precious children on this New Year's Eve. I did not want to risk dulling his senses.

"What is your name, boy?" he asked in a kind gentle voice. I looked down. On a small round wooden play table I saw an illustrated children's book about a calico cat entitled "Pitter Pat" by Wendy Watson.

"Pitter Pat," I said whimsically, making my whispered voice sound soft and youthful.

"Peter Pan?" the man asked, making sure he heard what I said. I nodded, as it didn't make any difference what he believed my name to be.

"Well, Peter Pan, how did you get in here? Did you fly through the window?" he asked in a joking tone.

"I did," I answered him truthfully.

"I see," he said as if he gave my words weight. "And why are you here? Did you lose something?"

"I did," I entered into the playful mood this man brought with him, "I lost my shadow." I turned to face him. We really were the same height.

After a moment I asked him, "What might your name be?"

He said, "I am J. M. Barrie."

"Are these your children?" I asked him, feeling a certain rapport with him.

He chuckled, "I care for them as if they were my own, but no, these are the children of Mr. and Mrs. Arthur and Sylvia Llewelyn Davies. Their names are George, John and the little one is named Peter, just like you."

One of the children stirred so we moved to the far end of the nursery where our conversation would not rouse them. He sat on a large toy chest and I sat in a little blue rocking chair. I smelled chalk, cocoa, and shortbread cookies. I saw a wooden train set piled in a box.

A handsome cab pulled by a tired horse clomped past in the street below. New Year party goers coming home, no doubt. I heard singing and laughter from the cab's occupants. Auld Lang Syne, I think the tune was called, a Scottish song.

"Where are you from, Peter Pan?" he asked me. He seemed glad to have some company, no matter how unconventional our meeting might be. He set his lantern on the floor, casting weird shadows on the wall and ceiling.

I tried to think of an answer. I wasn't from anywhere, not anymore. "I am from Never Never Land," I said. This was the closest to the truth of any answer I could invent. His presence affected me in an odd way. I felt playful and creative and open with him. I sensed no danger in the man, just an innate innocent goodness. I wished he ran a charity.

"I see, and how old are you?" he asked in a kind voice. He was probably thinking I was one of the hoards of homeless street urchins looking for a warm place to rest this frigid night.

"I am nearly two thousand years old," I told him. The truth was so unbelievable that I could speak it without fear it might be believed. I rocked a little in my small chair until it squeaked.

"And yet you are still just a boy," his eyes twinkled with merriment at our playful banter. "Would you not have grown old and gray by now?"

"No, I never age." I said. I felt the first tickle of dawn approaching and knew I should take my leave.

"It has been a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Barrie. I must leave now." I told him, standing up from my low seat.

"Will you fly out the window?" he asked me with a smile, standing too.

"Yes. I will head towards the second star to the right, and then straight on till morning."

"Do you have any family, Peter, any friends?" he asked, genuine concern warming his voice.

"Oh yes, there are many of us lost boys around. We help each other out." I was thinking of a certain big blond Viking. Suddenly I missed him so much I felt pain in my unbeating heart. A new millennium, a new start.

I put my finger to my lips in a shush motion, then I walked silently to the third floor window and stepped out, standing still on the thin air. Mr. Barrie came to the window, his eyes huge with wonder. "My sweet God, you really can fly," he breathed.

I took off, heading for the second star to the right.

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Kindle

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Catherine the Great

https://www.amazon.com/Catherine-Great-Life-Beginning-End-ebook/dp/B0772DMTJ6/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

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B&N FREE FRIDAY

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https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/our-options-have-changed-julia-kent/1124369253?ean=2940157154110&fbclid=IwAR0xmPDO6qilNLPyj7hRbnLtR9WbQ-7__Ud1LBkNM3AcFiOTQfsSTSeD_3E

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Joke of the day

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A police officer called the station on his radio.

"I have an interesting case here. An old lady shot her husband for stepping on the floor she just mopped."

"Have you arrested the woman?"

"Not yet. The floor's still wet."

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"Watch your thoughts, they become words;
watch your words, they become actions;
watch your actions, they become habits;
watch your habits, they become character;
watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."
~ Frank Outlaw ~

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Nook Audio

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https://www.nookaudiobooks.com/audiobook/157970/dont-let-go

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Kindle

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What's Your Poison

https://www.amazon.com/Whats-Your-Poison-Marie-Fostino-ebook/dp/B07DT6DRZ7/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Crystals for Healing

https://www.amazon.com/Crystals-Healing-Ultimate-techniques-Gemstones-ebook/dp/B082Z9NDS7/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Tarot Passport: Enter Into The Realm Between The Conscious And Unconscious Re-Discover Yourself In the Literary Marriage of Poetry And Tarot

https://www.amazon.com/Tarot-Passport-Conscious-Unconscious-Re-Discover-ebook/dp/B07Z465S31/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

George Washington: A Life From Beginning to End (Biographies of US Presidents Book 1)

https://www.amazon.com/George-Washington-Beginning-Biographies-Presidents-ebook/dp/B01KTB6IJ6/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

The Lion of the South: The Scarlet Pimpernel Meets Gone with the Wind Romantic Civil War Novel: Clean and Wholesome

https://www.amazon.com/Lion-South-Novel-Civil-War-ebook/dp/B078XTP4F1/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Nourishing Vegetarian Favorites: Quick, Simple Hassle-Free Recipes

https://www.amazon.com/Nourishing-Vegetarian-Favorites-Hassle-Free-Recipes-ebook/dp/B082P5KZC7/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

The Qing Dynasty

https://www.amazon.com/Qing-Dynasty-Captivating-Including-Rebellion-ebook/dp/B083373BMY/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

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Friday, December 27, 2019

Joke of the day ...

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How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh ?

Nothing, it's on the house.

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Jealousy jealousy jealousy ....

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wU3Ep0wzsPo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9YmNnNsHsI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wU3Ep0wzsPo

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Thursday, December 26, 2019

Joke of the day

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Joe grew up in a small town, then moved away to attend college and law school.

He decided to come back to the small town because he could be a big man in this small town.

He really wanted to impress everyone. He opened his new law office, but business was very slow at first.

One day, he saw a man coming up the sidewalk. He decided to make a big impression on this new client when he arrived.

As the man came to the door, Joe picked up the phone. He motioned the man in, all the while talking.

"No. Absolutely not. You tell those clowns in New York that I won't settle this case for less than one million.."

"Yes. The Appeals Court has agreed to hear that case next week. I'll be handling the primary argument and the other members of my team will provide support.."

"Okay. Tell the DA that I'll meet with him next week to discuss the details.."

This sort of thing went on for almost 5 minutes.

All the while the man sat patiently as Joe rattled instructions.

Finally, Joe put down the phone and turned to the man. "I'm sorry for the delay, but as you can see, I'm very busy. What can I do for you?"

The man replied "I'm from the phone company. I came to hook up your phone."

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Nook Audio

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https://www.nookaudiobooks.com/audiobook/04256/hostage

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Kindle

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The Great Gatsby

https://www.amazon.com/Great-Gatsby-Francis-Scott-Fitzgerald-ebook/dp/B0831PKRVL/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

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Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Kindle

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Father Brown (Complete Collection): 53 Murder Mysteries

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0831QHS16/ref=docs-os-doi_0

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Jokes of the day

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What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat?
Hits a gnome and runs.
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How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas?
He was hooked on trees his whole life.
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Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
Because he had very low elf esteem.
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What do you call a broke Santa Claus?
Saint-nickel-less.
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What did the snowman say to the other snowman?
--Do you smell carrots?
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KIndle V'''''V

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Dracula

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B076QFDS21/ref=docs-os-doi_0

low priced audio book:

https://www.amazon.com/Dracula/dp/B07R5VKQTQ/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

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Nook Audio

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https://www.nookaudiobooks.com/audiobook/20973/against-all-enemies

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Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Great band ....

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTyS1yVwZNo

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9-Year-Old Plays Banjo

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Song starts at 1minute in -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXcRI0BdioE

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Fiddle Family

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eCAFfX_va_I

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15 year pld Johnny Cash singer

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4edn9VKnYlE&list=RD4edn9VKnYlE&index=1

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Joke of the day

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(^_^) - New Cop

The new metro cop pulled a speeder who was zipping down Maple Avenue.

"Can I see your license and registration, bub?", the cop inquired.

"But officer," the fellow started, "I can explain..."

"Shut yer trap, bub!" snapped the officer. "You're going downtown and sit a while till the sarge gets back."

"But, officer, I think you really should know..."

"And I said to shut yer trap! You're going to jail!"

A few hours later the cop looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the sarge is at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back."

"Don't count on it," shot back the guy in the cell. "I'm the groom."

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Nook Audio

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https://www.nookaudiobooks.com/audiobook/18552/i-thee-wed

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Kindle

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To Hell and Gone in Texas (An Al Quinn Novel Book 1)

https://www.amazon.com/Hell-Gone-Texas-Quinn-Novel-ebook/dp/B00MPTZUT0/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

The Renaissance

https://www.amazon.com/Renaissance-Beginning-Michelangelo-Shakespeare-Gutenberg-ebook/dp/B01GCYLWBI/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_67?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=8HNCFT789JBDK9EJVRKV

Mayflower

https://www.amazon.com/Mayflower-History-Beginning-End-Hourly-ebook/dp/B01LZD7KK4/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_89?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=8HNCFT789JBDK9EJVRKV

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Monday, December 23, 2019

Kindle

Joke of the day

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(*_*) - Things That Took Me Fifty Years To Learn!!

1.) Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2.) If you have to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings".

3.) There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

4.) People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

5.) And when God, who created the entire universe with all of its glories, decides to deliver a message to humanity, He WILL NOT use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.

6.) You should not confuse your career with your life.

7.) No matter what happens... somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

8.) When trouble arises & things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution & is willing to take command. Very often, that person is crazy.

9.) Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

10.) A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person.

11.) Never lick a steak knife.

12.) Take out the fortune before you eat the cookie.

13.) "The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

14.) You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

15.) Your REAL friends still love you anyway.

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Nook Audio

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https://www.nookaudiobooks.com/audiobook/205444/liar-liar

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Kindle

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Gumboots, Gumshoes & Murder - a cozy detective black comedy murder mystery (The Gumboot & Gumshoe Series Book 1)

https://www.amazon.com/Gumboots-Gumshoes-Murder-detective-mystery-ebook/dp/B0058D7WT6/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Her Hidden Past: A Suspense-Filled Small Town Domestic Thriller (Rosemary Run Book 2)

https://www.amazon.com/Her-Hidden-Past-Suspense-Filled-Domestic-ebook/dp/B07YVP59NF/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Trumpet Blast Warning: An End Time Prophetic Wake Up Call

https://www.amazon.com/Trumpet-Blast-Warning-Time-Prophetic-ebook/dp/B00I3128HQ/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Traitor's Blood: Book 1 of The Civil War Chronicles

https://www.amazon.com/Traitors-Blood-Book-Civil-Chronicles-ebook/dp/B07CGHZL9J/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Jesse (Tombstone Ghost Cowboy)

https://www.amazon.com/Jesse-Tombstone-Cowboy-Ruthie-Manier-ebook/dp/B071NQQPVM/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Grandpa

https://www.amazon.com/Grandpa-L-Norton-ebook/dp/B07D6WLBLQ/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_39?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=F6N1PD6499A3HK158PHA

Kamikaze

https://www.amazon.com/Kamikaze-Ben-Stevens-ebook/dp/B009NBYPA8/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

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Blog Archive

About Me

Tuesday, December 31, 2019

Monday, December 30, 2019

Sunday, December 29, 2019

Saturday, December 28, 2019

Friday, December 27, 2019

Thursday, December 26, 2019

Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Monday, December 23, 2019