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A boy was bagging groceries at a supermarket. One day the store installed a machine for squeezing fresh orange juice. Intrigued, the young man asked if he could be allowed to work the machine, but his request was denied.
Said the store manager, "Sorry, kid, but baggers can't be juicers."
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A successful diet is the triumph of mind over platter.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
Why do ambassadors never get sick?
Diplomatic immunity.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?
He was lucky it was a soft drink.
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