Jokes of the day

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.

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Why wasn't the horse invited to dinner?

Because it had bad stable manners.

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.

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A cowboy arrived at a small town on Friday.

He stayed for a two days and then left on Friday.

How is it possible to arrive on Friday and leave on Friday, but to have stayed in the small town two days?

His horse was named Friday!

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What's red and white and black?

A zebra with sunburn.

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What do you call the mushy stuff stuck between a shark's teeth?

Slow swimmers.

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“Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”
― Steven Wright

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Those not ruled by the rudder, will be ruled by the rocks. - Welsh

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It is against the law for a monster to enter the corporate limits of Urbana, Illinois.
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Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under the trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time.

--Sir J. Lubbock

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