Jokes of the day

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosaurus wreck!

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What’s the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can’t tuna fish.

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can’t hear you.

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.

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“A man is on his first visit to Boston, and he wants to try some of that delicious New England seafood that he’d long heard about. So he gets into a cab, and asks the driver,

‘Can you take me to where I can get scrod?’

The driver replies, ‘I’ve heard that question a thousand times, but never in the pluperfect subjunctive.’”

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“Rene Descartes walks into a bar and proceeds to order many drink[s]. The bartender says to him a while later, seeing he is completely inebriated, ‘I think you’ve had enough.’

Descartes slurs, ‘I think not!’ Then he disappears.”

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A Freudian slip is where you say one thing but really mean your mother.

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To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it. - Confucius (c.551-479)
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