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The Last Straw (DCI Warren Jones, Book 1)
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-last-straw-paul-gitsham/1118863730?ean=9781472094698
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Friday, January 31, 2020
Jokes of the day
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What did the skeleton buy at the market?
Spare ribs!
================
What do ghosts spread on bagels?
Scream cheese!
==========
(*_*) - Everyday someone tells me to exercise
So, I got a dog and named it 'Twenty Miles'. This way I can tell people that I walk twenty miles everyday.
Also, I renamed the john the jim, this way I can say "I've already been to the jim this morning."
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"When you are your own worst enemy, someone who tells you that other people are the cause of your problems is no friend. "
~ Thomas Sowell Quotes
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I want a happy life.
- Michelle Williams
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What did the skeleton buy at the market?
Spare ribs!
================
What do ghosts spread on bagels?
Scream cheese!
==========
(*_*) - Everyday someone tells me to exercise
So, I got a dog and named it 'Twenty Miles'. This way I can tell people that I walk twenty miles everyday.
Also, I renamed the john the jim, this way I can say "I've already been to the jim this morning."
=========
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"When you are your own worst enemy, someone who tells you that other people are the cause of your problems is no friend. "
~ Thomas Sowell Quotes
===============
I want a happy life.
- Michelle Williams
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Free Nook Books
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This is a constantly updating list of free Nook Books. The categories are on the left side of the page.
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Thursday, January 30, 2020
Kindle
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The Leo Frank Case: The Controversial History of the Arrest and Trial of a Jewish Man Wrongly Convicted of Murder in the Early 20th Century
https://www.amazon.com/Leo-Frank-Case-Controversial-Convicted-ebook/dp/B084BQZTQD/ref=tmm_other_meta_binding_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Commodore Matthew Perry
https://www.amazon.com/Commodore-Matthew-Perry-Legacy-Officer-ebook/dp/B084BMZQ36/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_18?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=WQSMDBTPMY4FQ19S5WFF
Book of David: A Manifesto for the Revolution in Mental Healthcare
https://www.amazon.com/Book-David-Manifesto-Revolution-Healthcare-ebook/dp/B07YN9NPL8/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
D.W. Griffith
https://www.amazon.com/D-W-Griffith-Legacy-Hollywood-Director-ebook/dp/B0849V71JB/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_21?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=WQSMDBTPMY4FQ19S5WFF
The Gulf War: A Captivating Guide to the United States-Led Persian Gulf War against Iraq for Their Invasion and Annexation of Kuwait
https://www.amazon.com/Gulf-War-Captivating-States-Led-Annexation-ebook/dp/B0846JFMCF/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Edgar Cayce on Reincarnation and Family Karma
https://www.amazon.com/Edgar-Cayce-Reincarnation-Family-Karma-ebook/dp/B004QZ9V8W/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_66?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=2X6T9ASK329A3C43D3HR
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The Leo Frank Case: The Controversial History of the Arrest and Trial of a Jewish Man Wrongly Convicted of Murder in the Early 20th Century
https://www.amazon.com/Leo-Frank-Case-Controversial-Convicted-ebook/dp/B084BQZTQD/ref=tmm_other_meta_binding_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Commodore Matthew Perry
https://www.amazon.com/Commodore-Matthew-Perry-Legacy-Officer-ebook/dp/B084BMZQ36/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_18?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=WQSMDBTPMY4FQ19S5WFF
Book of David: A Manifesto for the Revolution in Mental Healthcare
https://www.amazon.com/Book-David-Manifesto-Revolution-Healthcare-ebook/dp/B07YN9NPL8/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
D.W. Griffith
https://www.amazon.com/D-W-Griffith-Legacy-Hollywood-Director-ebook/dp/B0849V71JB/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_21?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=WQSMDBTPMY4FQ19S5WFF
The Gulf War: A Captivating Guide to the United States-Led Persian Gulf War against Iraq for Their Invasion and Annexation of Kuwait
https://www.amazon.com/Gulf-War-Captivating-States-Led-Annexation-ebook/dp/B0846JFMCF/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Edgar Cayce on Reincarnation and Family Karma
https://www.amazon.com/Edgar-Cayce-Reincarnation-Family-Karma-ebook/dp/B004QZ9V8W/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_66?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=2X6T9ASK329A3C43D3HR
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Jokes of the day
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All the bugs organized a big party. The snowy weather did not dampen their spirits. All the bugs arrive but one.
Where's centipede?
Finally, the centipede arrives after a couple of hours.
When the host looked at him inquiringly he explained, "There was a 'Please wipe your feet' sign over the doormat." .
===============
What do you call two witches that live together?
Broommates!
===============
What is the one room a ghost can’t go into?
The living room!
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It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
~Henry David Thoreau
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All the bugs organized a big party. The snowy weather did not dampen their spirits. All the bugs arrive but one.
Where's centipede?
Finally, the centipede arrives after a couple of hours.
When the host looked at him inquiringly he explained, "There was a 'Please wipe your feet' sign over the doormat." .
===============
What do you call two witches that live together?
Broommates!
===============
What is the one room a ghost can’t go into?
The living room!
======
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It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
~Henry David Thoreau
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Kindle
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FINDING THE WAY: From Prussia to a Prairie Homestead
https://www.amazon.com/FINDING-WAY-Prussia-Prairie-Homestead-ebook/dp/B003Z9K59Y/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Fina Fitzgibbons mysteries
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00NBYDQHQ?notRedirectToSDP=1&ref_=dbs_mng_calw_1&storeType=ebooks
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01GEK7UOI?notRedirectToSDP=1&ref_=dbs_mng_calw_4&storeType=ebooks
The Way of Initiation or, How to Attain Knowledge of the Higher Worlds
https://www.amazon.com/Initiation-Attain-Knowledge-Higher-Worlds-ebook/dp/B071K57C8R/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=The+Way+of+Initiation+or%2C+How+to+Attain+Knowledge+of+the+Higher+Worlds&qid=1580384944&s=digital-text&sr=1-3
The Hurricane Within
https://www.amazon.com/Hurricane-Within-Ashlee-Leppert-ebook/dp/B07Y8RZLRP/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
The Texicans
https://www.amazon.com/Texicans-Jinx-Schwartz-ebook/dp/B0066DJYYI/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
George Washington’s Nemesis: The Outrageous Treason and Unfair Court Martial of Major General Charles Lee during the American Revolution
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B083DY6JRH/ref=docs-os-doi_0
The Unconquered
https://www.amazon.com/Unconquered-Children-Divine-Romance-Kingdom-ebook/dp/B07NYZS48F/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Project Blue Book, Top Secret UFO Files: The Untold Truth, Edition 2
https://www.amazon.com/Project-Blue-Book-Secret-Files-ebook/dp/B07MGJKRSX/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Vegan Fast & Easy Cookbook: 111 Simple and Delicious Everyday Recipes
https://www.amazon.com/Vegan-Fast-Easy-Cookbook-Delicious-ebook/dp/B083Q8C5KM/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
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FINDING THE WAY: From Prussia to a Prairie Homestead
https://www.amazon.com/FINDING-WAY-Prussia-Prairie-Homestead-ebook/dp/B003Z9K59Y/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Fina Fitzgibbons mysteries
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00NBYDQHQ?notRedirectToSDP=1&ref_=dbs_mng_calw_1&storeType=ebooks
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01GEK7UOI?notRedirectToSDP=1&ref_=dbs_mng_calw_4&storeType=ebooks
The Way of Initiation or, How to Attain Knowledge of the Higher Worlds
https://www.amazon.com/Initiation-Attain-Knowledge-Higher-Worlds-ebook/dp/B071K57C8R/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=The+Way+of+Initiation+or%2C+How+to+Attain+Knowledge+of+the+Higher+Worlds&qid=1580384944&s=digital-text&sr=1-3
The Hurricane Within
https://www.amazon.com/Hurricane-Within-Ashlee-Leppert-ebook/dp/B07Y8RZLRP/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
The Texicans
https://www.amazon.com/Texicans-Jinx-Schwartz-ebook/dp/B0066DJYYI/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
George Washington’s Nemesis: The Outrageous Treason and Unfair Court Martial of Major General Charles Lee during the American Revolution
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B083DY6JRH/ref=docs-os-doi_0
The Unconquered
https://www.amazon.com/Unconquered-Children-Divine-Romance-Kingdom-ebook/dp/B07NYZS48F/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Project Blue Book, Top Secret UFO Files: The Untold Truth, Edition 2
https://www.amazon.com/Project-Blue-Book-Secret-Files-ebook/dp/B07MGJKRSX/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Vegan Fast & Easy Cookbook: 111 Simple and Delicious Everyday Recipes
https://www.amazon.com/Vegan-Fast-Easy-Cookbook-Delicious-ebook/dp/B083Q8C5KM/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
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Wednesday, January 29, 2020
Kindle
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Florence Nightingale
https://www.amazon.com/Florence-Nightingale-Life-Beginning-End-ebook/dp/B079SVZKVP/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
The Acid Alchemist: A True Story of Murder, Deceit, and Unspeakable Horror.
https://www.amazon.com/Acid-Alchemist-Murder-Unspeakable-Horror-ebook/dp/B0844XTJ7D/ref=tmm_other_meta_binding_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
The Ultimate Scottish Cookbook: Delicious Scottish Recipes
https://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Scottish-Cookbook-Delicious-Recipes-ebook/dp/B0843NBZGX/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
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Florence Nightingale
https://www.amazon.com/Florence-Nightingale-Life-Beginning-End-ebook/dp/B079SVZKVP/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
The Acid Alchemist: A True Story of Murder, Deceit, and Unspeakable Horror.
https://www.amazon.com/Acid-Alchemist-Murder-Unspeakable-Horror-ebook/dp/B0844XTJ7D/ref=tmm_other_meta_binding_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
The Ultimate Scottish Cookbook: Delicious Scottish Recipes
https://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Scottish-Cookbook-Delicious-Recipes-ebook/dp/B0843NBZGX/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
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Joke of the day ....
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(^_^) - Crackerjack Service Department..
It takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; that's reassurance for us passengers
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a `gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, and document their repairs on the form,
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget
By the way, UPS is the only major airline carrier that has never, ever, had an accident....
.
.
.
.
.
(^_^) - Crackerjack Service Department..
It takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one; that's reassurance for us passengers
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a `gripe sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, and document their repairs on the form,
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search
P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from the midget
By the way, UPS is the only major airline carrier that has never, ever, had an accident....
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Kindle
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The Treasures of Death Valley series:
https://www.amazon.com/Treasures-Death-Valley-Archaeological-Thriller-ebook/dp/B07QT8D4PM/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=The+Treasures+of+Death+Valley&qid=1580297823&s=digital-text&sr=1-1
https://www.amazon.com/Drum-War-Archaeological-Thriller-Secrets-ebook/dp/B07QTDH8MR/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=A+Secrets+of+Death+Valley+Thriller&qid=1580298003&s=digital-text&sr=1-2
https://www.amazon.com/Chasm-Archaeological-Thriller-Secrets-Valley-ebook/dp/B07QNZJ2ZN/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=A+Secrets+of+Death+Valley+Thriller&qid=1580298003&s=digital-text&sr=1-3
Eighty Years and More; Reminiscences 1815-1897
https://www.amazon.com/Eighty-Years-More-Reminiscences-1815-1897-ebook/dp/B01MTEPA3V/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_98?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=B9KNAWCYZGYWNVDEMXBA
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The Treasures of Death Valley series:
https://www.amazon.com/Treasures-Death-Valley-Archaeological-Thriller-ebook/dp/B07QT8D4PM/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=The+Treasures+of+Death+Valley&qid=1580297823&s=digital-text&sr=1-1
https://www.amazon.com/Drum-War-Archaeological-Thriller-Secrets-ebook/dp/B07QTDH8MR/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=A+Secrets+of+Death+Valley+Thriller&qid=1580298003&s=digital-text&sr=1-2
https://www.amazon.com/Chasm-Archaeological-Thriller-Secrets-Valley-ebook/dp/B07QNZJ2ZN/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=A+Secrets+of+Death+Valley+Thriller&qid=1580298003&s=digital-text&sr=1-3
Eighty Years and More; Reminiscences 1815-1897
https://www.amazon.com/Eighty-Years-More-Reminiscences-1815-1897-ebook/dp/B01MTEPA3V/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_98?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=B9KNAWCYZGYWNVDEMXBA
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Tuesday, January 28, 2020
Kindle
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My Golden Mind: A Journey Through Epilepsy And Brain Surgery
https://www.amazon.com/My-Golden-Mind-Journey-Epilepsy-ebook/dp/B07C14XHSR/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
900 Vegetarian Diet Cookbook for Beginners: Delicious, Quick & Low-Budget Vegetarian Recipes to Eat Healthy, Weight Loss, and Change Lifestyle | 21-Day Meal Plan for Beginners.
https://www.amazon.com/900-Vegetarian-Diet-Cookbook-Beginners-ebook/dp/B07Z4WCHQV/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Plant Based Cookbook for Beginners
https://www.amazon.com/Plant-Based-Cookbook-Beginners-2020-ebook/dp/B0845RBQJR/ref=tmm_other_meta_binding_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
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My Golden Mind: A Journey Through Epilepsy And Brain Surgery
https://www.amazon.com/My-Golden-Mind-Journey-Epilepsy-ebook/dp/B07C14XHSR/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
900 Vegetarian Diet Cookbook for Beginners: Delicious, Quick & Low-Budget Vegetarian Recipes to Eat Healthy, Weight Loss, and Change Lifestyle | 21-Day Meal Plan for Beginners.
https://www.amazon.com/900-Vegetarian-Diet-Cookbook-Beginners-ebook/dp/B07Z4WCHQV/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Plant Based Cookbook for Beginners
https://www.amazon.com/Plant-Based-Cookbook-Beginners-2020-ebook/dp/B0845RBQJR/ref=tmm_other_meta_binding_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
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Joke of the day
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A man comes to the barber shop.
Customer: “Okay, I want you to cut it all at the top, but leave it uneven on the sides. Also make one sideburn longer than the other. Also make small holes on the back of my head.”
Barber: “I’m not sure if I’ll know to make a haircut like that.”
Customer: “Well, you sure knew how to cut it like that the last time.”
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A man comes to the barber shop.
Customer: “Okay, I want you to cut it all at the top, but leave it uneven on the sides. Also make one sideburn longer than the other. Also make small holes on the back of my head.”
Barber: “I’m not sure if I’ll know to make a haircut like that.”
Customer: “Well, you sure knew how to cut it like that the last time.”
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Kindle
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A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N6T9NCC/ref=docs-os-doi_0
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A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01N6T9NCC/ref=docs-os-doi_0
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Monday, January 27, 2020
Kindle
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Miyamoto Musashi: The Life and Legacy of Japan’s Most Legendary Samurai
https://www.amazon.com/Miyamoto-Musashi-Legacy-Legendary-Samurai-ebook/dp/B0847BSN76/ref=tmm_other_meta_binding_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
The Dodo
https://www.amazon.com/Dodo-History-Legacy-Extinct-Flightless-ebook/dp/B0847BLMYL/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_14?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=ZXXXFK8EVPPENQK4883X
The Republic of Zimbabwe
https://www.amazon.com/Republic-Zimbabwe-History-Independence-British-ebook/dp/B0845VPFGY/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_20?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=ZXXXFK8EVPPENQK4883X
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Miyamoto Musashi: The Life and Legacy of Japan’s Most Legendary Samurai
https://www.amazon.com/Miyamoto-Musashi-Legacy-Legendary-Samurai-ebook/dp/B0847BSN76/ref=tmm_other_meta_binding_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
The Dodo
https://www.amazon.com/Dodo-History-Legacy-Extinct-Flightless-ebook/dp/B0847BLMYL/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_14?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=ZXXXFK8EVPPENQK4883X
The Republic of Zimbabwe
https://www.amazon.com/Republic-Zimbabwe-History-Independence-British-ebook/dp/B0845VPFGY/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_20?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=ZXXXFK8EVPPENQK4883X
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Kindle
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Ghost Crimes: Book One in the Ghost Crimes Series
https://www.amazon.com/Ghost-Crimes-Based-Actual-Paranormal-ebook/dp/B078HDT2FX/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
The Insidious Dr. Fu-Manchu
https://www.amazon.com/Insidious-Dr-Fu-Manchu-Sax-Rohmer-ebook/dp/B00K5EBFKU/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
How Can A Man Die Better
https://www.amazon.com/How-Can-Man-Die-Better-ebook/dp/B078TNJGQ3/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Paganism: A Beginners Guide to Paganism
https://www.amazon.com/Paganism-Beginners-Guide-Sarah-Owen-ebook/dp/B00Q6ZB0EI/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
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Ghost Crimes: Book One in the Ghost Crimes Series
https://www.amazon.com/Ghost-Crimes-Based-Actual-Paranormal-ebook/dp/B078HDT2FX/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
The Insidious Dr. Fu-Manchu
https://www.amazon.com/Insidious-Dr-Fu-Manchu-Sax-Rohmer-ebook/dp/B00K5EBFKU/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
How Can A Man Die Better
https://www.amazon.com/How-Can-Man-Die-Better-ebook/dp/B078TNJGQ3/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Paganism: A Beginners Guide to Paganism
https://www.amazon.com/Paganism-Beginners-Guide-Sarah-Owen-ebook/dp/B00Q6ZB0EI/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
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Jokes of the day
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Hal: How did you get hit on the head with a book?
Sal: I have only my shelf to blame.
============
Q. What do you call a guy that's had too much to drink?
A. A cab.
============
Brad: Is it true you're starting a campaign against hyperbole?
Chad: Yes! And it's going to be the greatest campaign EVER!
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"A witty saying proves nothing."
-Voltaire
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Hal: How did you get hit on the head with a book?
Sal: I have only my shelf to blame.
============
Q. What do you call a guy that's had too much to drink?
A. A cab.
============
Brad: Is it true you're starting a campaign against hyperbole?
Chad: Yes! And it's going to be the greatest campaign EVER!
=========
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"A witty saying proves nothing."
-Voltaire
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Sunday, January 26, 2020
Jokes of the day
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=======================
“What did you learn in Chemistry today?”
“Today we learned about explosive substances!”
“That’s nice. And what will they teach you at school tomorrow?”
“What school?”
==========
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom!
=========================
Why did the nose refuse to go to school?
Because he was tired of being picked on!
=============
.
.
.
George Sands: Yeah, I gave up on the whole orthodoxy thing when I started turning into a wolf.
Being Human (2008)
.
.
.
.
.
.
=======================
“What did you learn in Chemistry today?”
“Today we learned about explosive substances!”
“That’s nice. And what will they teach you at school tomorrow?”
“What school?”
==========
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom!
=========================
Why did the nose refuse to go to school?
Because he was tired of being picked on!
=============
.
.
.
George Sands: Yeah, I gave up on the whole orthodoxy thing when I started turning into a wolf.
Being Human (2008)
.
.
.
.
Kindle
.
.
.
The Many Lives of Ivy Wells: A Time Travel Thriller (Ivy Wells Mystery Series Book 1)
https://www.amazon.com/Many-Lives-Ivy-Wells-Collection-ebook/dp/B07QDFTXB9/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Pretty Little Fliers: A Cozy Witch Mystery (Magic Market Mysteries Book 1)
https://www.amazon.com/Pretty-Little-Fliers-Mystery-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B07YQ4F7M2/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Dead Men's Shoes: A Bluebelle Investigations Suspense Thriller
https://www.amazon.com/Dead-Mens-Shoes-Bluebelle-Investigations-ebook/dp/B07ZQQGWF8/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=Dead+Men%27s+Shoes%3A+A+Bluebelle+Investigations+Suspense+Thriller&qid=1580039000&s=digital-text&sr=1-3
The Scientific Revolution
https://www.amazon.com/Scientific-Revolution-Captivating-Emergence-Including-ebook/dp/B07VFZRNF7/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Ancient China
https://www.amazon.com/Ancient-China-Captivating-Civilization-Starting-ebook/dp/B07N54NXDM/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
War and Peace
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B083Q6CX7H/ref=docs-os-doi_0
The Book of the Law
https://www.amazon.com/Book-Law-Aleister-Crowley-ebook/dp/B0844LQTLL/ref=sr_1_2?qid=1580039865&refinements=p_27%3ASteppenwolf+Press&s=digital-text&sr=1-2&text=Steppenwolf+Press
The Tulsa Massacre of 1921: The Controversial History and Legacy of America’s Worst Race Riot
https://www.amazon.com/Tulsa-Massacre-1921-Controversial-Americas-ebook/dp/B0845MWWGL/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Investigating a Shadowy Crime: A Historical Western Adventure Book
https://www.amazon.com/Investigating-Shadowy-Crime-Historical-Adventure-ebook/dp/B08462BBYF/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Low priced classic audio books:
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=Audioliterature&i=audible
.
.
.
.
.
The Many Lives of Ivy Wells: A Time Travel Thriller (Ivy Wells Mystery Series Book 1)
https://www.amazon.com/Many-Lives-Ivy-Wells-Collection-ebook/dp/B07QDFTXB9/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Pretty Little Fliers: A Cozy Witch Mystery (Magic Market Mysteries Book 1)
https://www.amazon.com/Pretty-Little-Fliers-Mystery-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B07YQ4F7M2/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Dead Men's Shoes: A Bluebelle Investigations Suspense Thriller
https://www.amazon.com/Dead-Mens-Shoes-Bluebelle-Investigations-ebook/dp/B07ZQQGWF8/ref=sr_1_3?keywords=Dead+Men%27s+Shoes%3A+A+Bluebelle+Investigations+Suspense+Thriller&qid=1580039000&s=digital-text&sr=1-3
The Scientific Revolution
https://www.amazon.com/Scientific-Revolution-Captivating-Emergence-Including-ebook/dp/B07VFZRNF7/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Ancient China
https://www.amazon.com/Ancient-China-Captivating-Civilization-Starting-ebook/dp/B07N54NXDM/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
War and Peace
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B083Q6CX7H/ref=docs-os-doi_0
The Book of the Law
https://www.amazon.com/Book-Law-Aleister-Crowley-ebook/dp/B0844LQTLL/ref=sr_1_2?qid=1580039865&refinements=p_27%3ASteppenwolf+Press&s=digital-text&sr=1-2&text=Steppenwolf+Press
The Tulsa Massacre of 1921: The Controversial History and Legacy of America’s Worst Race Riot
https://www.amazon.com/Tulsa-Massacre-1921-Controversial-Americas-ebook/dp/B0845MWWGL/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Investigating a Shadowy Crime: A Historical Western Adventure Book
https://www.amazon.com/Investigating-Shadowy-Crime-Historical-Adventure-ebook/dp/B08462BBYF/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Low priced classic audio books:
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=Audioliterature&i=audible
.
.
.
Saturday, January 25, 2020
Advice of the day
.
.
.
(^_^) - Dr. Phil
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me, and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.
Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So, I looked around my house to see things I started, and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreo's, a pot of coffee, the rest of the Cheesecake, some Saltines, and a box of Godiva Chocolates.
You have no idea how freaking good I feel.
.
.
.
“I’m very much down to earth, just not this earth.”
― Karl Lagerfeld
.
.
.
.
.
(^_^) - Dr. Phil
I am passing this on to you because it definitely worked for me, and we all could use more calm in our lives. By following the simple advice I heard on a Dr. Phil show, I have finally found inner peace.
Dr. Phil proclaimed the way to achieve inner peace is to finish all the things you have started. So, I looked around my house to see things I started, and hadn't finished; and, before leaving the house this morning, I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Kahlua, a package of Oreo's, a pot of coffee, the rest of the Cheesecake, some Saltines, and a box of Godiva Chocolates.
You have no idea how freaking good I feel.
.
.
.
“I’m very much down to earth, just not this earth.”
― Karl Lagerfeld
.
.
.
Kindle
.
.
.
The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection
https://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Wodehouse-Collection-P-G-ebook/dp/B07PQ2MY92/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=The+Ultimate+Wodehouse+Collection&qid=1579952586&s=digital-text&sr=1-1
Mesopotamian Myths
https://www.amazon.com/Mesopotamian-Myths-Captivating-Mesopotamia-Mythology-ebook/dp/B07XMKXST3/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Southern Independence: Why War?: The War To Prevent Southern Independence
https://www.amazon.com/Southern-Independence-Why-War-Prevent-ebook/dp/B0176XGHFU/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
.
.
.
.
.
The Ultimate Wodehouse Collection
https://www.amazon.com/Ultimate-Wodehouse-Collection-P-G-ebook/dp/B07PQ2MY92/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=The+Ultimate+Wodehouse+Collection&qid=1579952586&s=digital-text&sr=1-1
Mesopotamian Myths
https://www.amazon.com/Mesopotamian-Myths-Captivating-Mesopotamia-Mythology-ebook/dp/B07XMKXST3/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
Southern Independence: Why War?: The War To Prevent Southern Independence
https://www.amazon.com/Southern-Independence-Why-War-Prevent-ebook/dp/B0176XGHFU/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=
.
.
.
Friday, January 24, 2020
Joke of the day
.
.
Then and Now ....
.
.
.
What snowstorm preparation was like in the 1970s:
Hear on the 6 `o' clock news that there will be snow the day after tomorrow. "Some accumulation," the weatherman says. He talks about the snow for less than 30 seconds. Continue eating your Hamburger Helper.
Go to the A&P in the morning and casually get some milk, a loaf of Wonderbread and some Velveeta.
Check the shed to make sure the big red snow shovel's still there and that the kids haven't used it to build a fort in the vacant lot down the street where they like to play unattended for hours with all other neighborhood kids after school. It's there. The end.
Put the chains on the car tires, make a pot of soup and a batch of Chex Mix and pour yourself a drink. You are done.
If it snows more than a foot overnight, school will be canceled. You will just somehow know that there is no school because you will use your common sense. There MIGHT be a phone tree. Keyword is MIGHT.
Snow Day!! This means you can bundle the children within an inch of their lives and send them outside in whiteout conditions and 20 below temps FOR THE REST OF THE DAY while you stay inside, watch "As the World Turns," smoke Eves, do your nails and wait for the snow plow.
Throw salt all over the front steps. Boil some water and stir up a few packets of Swiss Miss hot chocolate for when the kids come back in.
Looks like you're going to get two feet of snow with this one. Oh well. Stick your head out the screen door and take a couple Polaroids of the kids' snowman they built since you forgot to buy film and flashbulbs for the Kodak Ektralite. Too much of a pain to take the pictures to the Fotomat to get developed, and who wants to see a bunch of pictures of snow anyway? It snows ALL WINTER LONG. Big deal.
Ask some neighborhood teens to shovel your driveway for you. They gladly do this in exchange for grilled cheese sandwiches.
If the electricity goes out, pile extra afghans on the beds and put all the food from the fridge outside on the back porch. It'll keep just fine in these temperatures and the electric will be back on in a couple days. Nothing to worry over. There's always the kerosene heater and the fireplace or the coal furnace in the cellar.
Snow is now piled to the eaves of the house. There will be school tomorrow.
Let the kids go sledding at night after dinner. Have an Irish Coffee. Go to bed early.
.
.
.
=======================
What snowstorm preparation is like in 2016:
Get a news alert on your smartphone that in ten days the blizzard of the Millennium is going to strike. Turn on 24 hour cable news immediately for round the clock coverage.
Look for constant updates on WINTER STORM CHIONE. Look to see what everyone is posting on Facebook about it. Pretend you know how to pronounce Chione.
Three days before the storm is supposed to hit the governor will declare a State of Emergency. It's 70 degrees and sunny out.
Rush to Whole Foods and buy $756.00 worth of healthy junk food. You cannot weather a blizzard like this without hemp seed ghost pepper non-GMO tortilla chips, and the kids won't survive without vegan, fruit sweetened gummies.
Charge all devices. This includes the five Kindles you own, two tablets, three smartphones, the laptop, and your fancy toothbrushes.
Check to see if Anderson Cooper is wearing his casual clothes and if he has gone outside. If Anderson Cooper is broadcasting from outside, you are basically screwed.
Yup. We're all going to die.
Brace yourselves. There are going to be a lot of Game of Thrones memes on social about this.
Snowmageddon is definitely happening. It is all over the Internet. School is now closed two days before it is supposed to snow. You know, to keep the children safe from all the people rushing to Target and fighting one another tooth and nail for the last loaf of Ezekiel bread, organic 2% milk, and cage-free Omega 3 eggs. Because if we're going to go off our Paleo diets for some French Toast, it should at least be whole freaking grain. (I think?) Whatever, screw it.
There is a sugar coating of very fine snow on your flagstone walkway leading up to your meticulously restored craftsman cottage. DO NOT GO OUTSIDE. It is dangerous in these conditions. Oh my God, it is 33 degrees.
Screenshot the weather app from your phone and tweet it. #brrrr #freezingtodeath #winterstormchione
But wait!! At least you get to wear your Uggs! And your buffalo plaid!
Receive an automated call at 4 in the morning that school is canceled basically until the end of the month because of the winter storm's devastation.
Check Pinterest for educational snow day crafts and activities to keep the children engaged and learning. Do not let them outside to play in the inch of snow that just fell because OMG frostbite.
Take lots of pictures of the snow. Post to Instagram. The Amaro filter makes snow look like a photo from the Anthropologie catalog.
Post all the same pictures to Facebook too. Complain about how bored you are, but then hashtag your status #blessed.
Relent and let the kids outside. Bundle them up within an inch of their lives.
Forget that you didn't make them go pee first. Unbundle them and make them all go to the bathroom. Then rebundle them. By now an hour and a half has passed.
Only let them stay out long enough to get some good candid shots of them building a snowman, even though you are the one who actually built the snowman because you needed it to look just so. Do not let them go sledding because they could get traumatic head injuries. You have read enough stories online about accidents like that and how they could have easily been prevented by just keeping children inside attached to screens all day.
Is this hot chocolate fair trade? And oh my God, who can you hire to shovel this away? Does your landscaping company take care of snow removal? Because there's no way you can figure out the ethanol powered, cordless, half solar snowblower you bought on sale for $900.00 because it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is at least four inches of snow. The electricity went out for five minutes. You have plowed through the bag of ghost pepper chips and you are sure the world is ending. Scroll through your phone looking for the best deals to Aruba this weekend.
The day after the storm hits, the meteorologists will apologize profusely that they said there'd 75 inches of snow and ice and 89 mile per hour winds, even though you got maybe five inches total when all was said and done and it melted overnight. Blame climate change. The forecast models are very unpredictable. Shrug.
.
.
.
.
Then and Now ....
.
.
.
What snowstorm preparation was like in the 1970s:
Hear on the 6 `o' clock news that there will be snow the day after tomorrow. "Some accumulation," the weatherman says. He talks about the snow for less than 30 seconds. Continue eating your Hamburger Helper.
Go to the A&P in the morning and casually get some milk, a loaf of Wonderbread and some Velveeta.
Check the shed to make sure the big red snow shovel's still there and that the kids haven't used it to build a fort in the vacant lot down the street where they like to play unattended for hours with all other neighborhood kids after school. It's there. The end.
Put the chains on the car tires, make a pot of soup and a batch of Chex Mix and pour yourself a drink. You are done.
If it snows more than a foot overnight, school will be canceled. You will just somehow know that there is no school because you will use your common sense. There MIGHT be a phone tree. Keyword is MIGHT.
Snow Day!! This means you can bundle the children within an inch of their lives and send them outside in whiteout conditions and 20 below temps FOR THE REST OF THE DAY while you stay inside, watch "As the World Turns," smoke Eves, do your nails and wait for the snow plow.
Throw salt all over the front steps. Boil some water and stir up a few packets of Swiss Miss hot chocolate for when the kids come back in.
Looks like you're going to get two feet of snow with this one. Oh well. Stick your head out the screen door and take a couple Polaroids of the kids' snowman they built since you forgot to buy film and flashbulbs for the Kodak Ektralite. Too much of a pain to take the pictures to the Fotomat to get developed, and who wants to see a bunch of pictures of snow anyway? It snows ALL WINTER LONG. Big deal.
Ask some neighborhood teens to shovel your driveway for you. They gladly do this in exchange for grilled cheese sandwiches.
If the electricity goes out, pile extra afghans on the beds and put all the food from the fridge outside on the back porch. It'll keep just fine in these temperatures and the electric will be back on in a couple days. Nothing to worry over. There's always the kerosene heater and the fireplace or the coal furnace in the cellar.
Snow is now piled to the eaves of the house. There will be school tomorrow.
Let the kids go sledding at night after dinner. Have an Irish Coffee. Go to bed early.
.
.
.
=======================
What snowstorm preparation is like in 2016:
Get a news alert on your smartphone that in ten days the blizzard of the Millennium is going to strike. Turn on 24 hour cable news immediately for round the clock coverage.
Look for constant updates on WINTER STORM CHIONE. Look to see what everyone is posting on Facebook about it. Pretend you know how to pronounce Chione.
Three days before the storm is supposed to hit the governor will declare a State of Emergency. It's 70 degrees and sunny out.
Rush to Whole Foods and buy $756.00 worth of healthy junk food. You cannot weather a blizzard like this without hemp seed ghost pepper non-GMO tortilla chips, and the kids won't survive without vegan, fruit sweetened gummies.
Charge all devices. This includes the five Kindles you own, two tablets, three smartphones, the laptop, and your fancy toothbrushes.
Check to see if Anderson Cooper is wearing his casual clothes and if he has gone outside. If Anderson Cooper is broadcasting from outside, you are basically screwed.
Yup. We're all going to die.
Brace yourselves. There are going to be a lot of Game of Thrones memes on social about this.
Snowmageddon is definitely happening. It is all over the Internet. School is now closed two days before it is supposed to snow. You know, to keep the children safe from all the people rushing to Target and fighting one another tooth and nail for the last loaf of Ezekiel bread, organic 2% milk, and cage-free Omega 3 eggs. Because if we're going to go off our Paleo diets for some French Toast, it should at least be whole freaking grain. (I think?) Whatever, screw it.
There is a sugar coating of very fine snow on your flagstone walkway leading up to your meticulously restored craftsman cottage. DO NOT GO OUTSIDE. It is dangerous in these conditions. Oh my God, it is 33 degrees.
Screenshot the weather app from your phone and tweet it. #brrrr #freezingtodeath #winterstormchione
But wait!! At least you get to wear your Uggs! And your buffalo plaid!
Receive an automated call at 4 in the morning that school is canceled basically until the end of the month because of the winter storm's devastation.
Check Pinterest for educational snow day crafts and activities to keep the children engaged and learning. Do not let them outside to play in the inch of snow that just fell because OMG frostbite.
Take lots of pictures of the snow. Post to Instagram. The Amaro filter makes snow look like a photo from the Anthropologie catalog.
Post all the same pictures to Facebook too. Complain about how bored you are, but then hashtag your status #blessed.
Relent and let the kids outside. Bundle them up within an inch of their lives.
Forget that you didn't make them go pee first. Unbundle them and make them all go to the bathroom. Then rebundle them. By now an hour and a half has passed.
Only let them stay out long enough to get some good candid shots of them building a snowman, even though you are the one who actually built the snowman because you needed it to look just so. Do not let them go sledding because they could get traumatic head injuries. You have read enough stories online about accidents like that and how they could have easily been prevented by just keeping children inside attached to screens all day.
Is this hot chocolate fair trade? And oh my God, who can you hire to shovel this away? Does your landscaping company take care of snow removal? Because there's no way you can figure out the ethanol powered, cordless, half solar snowblower you bought on sale for $900.00 because it seemed like a good idea at the time.
There is at least four inches of snow. The electricity went out for five minutes. You have plowed through the bag of ghost pepper chips and you are sure the world is ending. Scroll through your phone looking for the best deals to Aruba this weekend.
The day after the storm hits, the meteorologists will apologize profusely that they said there'd 75 inches of snow and ice and 89 mile per hour winds, even though you got maybe five inches total when all was said and done and it melted overnight. Blame climate change. The forecast models are very unpredictable. Shrug.
.
.
.
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