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Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.
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Q: How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, but the bulb has got to really want to be changed.
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Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light.
A: None. If the light bulb really needed changing, market forces would provide the initiative.
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Q. How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Two, but don't ask me how they got in there.
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How did the hipster burn his hand?
He changed the lightbulb before it was cool.
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How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two, one to twist it almost all the way, and one to give it a final twist.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Only one, although 500 auditioned for the job.
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How many Anarchists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
All of them.
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How many business moguls does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they just declare darkness the industry standard.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, the bulb turns itself in, accompanied by his attorney.
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How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb?
Nobody knows, they never get beyond the feasibility study.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four, one to change the bulb and three to sing about how good the old bulb was.
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How many investment bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to unscrew the bulb and drop it, the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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How many philosophers does it take to change a light bulb?
Why does it need changing? Does it really matter?
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How many poets does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two, one to curse the darkness and the other to light a candle.
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How many mimes does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they only pretend to change the bulb.
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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A fish.
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