Sookie's Birthday Surprise: June 2017

Friday, June 30, 2017

B&N Free Friday Selection

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To Love Anew (Sydney Cove Book #1)

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/9781441202734

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Free Books for June 30, 2017

Thursday, June 29, 2017

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Let go of your Stresses!

A psychologist walked around a room while teaching stress management to an audience. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they'd be asked the "half empty or half full" question.

Instead, with a smile on her face, she inquired: "How heavy is this glass of water?"

Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.

She replied, "The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute, it's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my arm. If I hold it for a day, my arm will feel numb and paralyzed. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn't change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes."

She continued, "The stresses and worries in life are like that glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and they begin to hurt. And if you think about them all day long, you will feel paralyzed - incapable of doing anything."

It's important to remember to let go of your stresses. As early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don't carry them through the evening and into the night. Remember to put the glass down!

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Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Jokes of the Day ...

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Q: What music do balloons hate?

A: Pop
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Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing? He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.
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Jack Goodman: Stick to the road.
David Kessler: Beware of the moors.

~ An American Werewolf in London (1981)

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Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Summer Rerun

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Many of these books are still free, I'll be posting my usual new list on Friday.

http://turningkey.blogspot.com/2016/02/free-friday-nook-books_26.html

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Monday, June 26, 2017

Joke of the Day ...

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When are you most likely to be eaten by a tiger?

Chewsday!
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What is tasty and lives in trees?

A meringue-utan!

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“I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.”
― Steven Wright

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Sunday, June 25, 2017

Joke of the Day ....

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(^_^) - The New CEO

A company, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.

The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers.

On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall and idly picking his teeth.

The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business.

He asked the guy, “How much money do you make a week?”

A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, “I make $400 a week. Why?”

The CEO said, "Wait right here.”

He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, “Here’s four weeks’ pay.

Now GET OUT and don’t come back.”

Feeling pretty good about himself the CEO looked around the room and asked,
“Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?”

From across the room a voice said,

“Sure – he was the Pizza delivery guy from Domino’s and was just waiting to collect the money!”

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Saturday, June 24, 2017

Joke of the Day ....

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How do apes fly above the jungle?

In hot air baboons!
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What is a polar bear’s favorite meal?
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Ice berg-ers!
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Pun of the day .....

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

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Friday, June 23, 2017

B&N Free Friday Selection

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Free at posting:

B&N Free Friday Selection

Whom The Gods Love

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/whom-the-gods-love-mm-perry/1125862775?ean=2940157562007
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Free Books Friday June 23, 2017 ...

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Summer Rerun ...

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This is a list from the past. Many of these books are still free.

http://turningkey.blogspot.com/2016/02/free-friday-nook-books.html

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Joke of the Day ..

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A man noted for telling puns was locked into a dark closet, and told he would not be released until he made up a pun about the situation. He immediately shouted, "Oh, pun the door!"

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Joke of the Day ...

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(^_^) - FAMOUS QUOTES

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'
- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy and Billy Carter)
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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt
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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen.
I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns
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Santa Claus has the right idea.
Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge
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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy;
if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates
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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante
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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope
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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
- W. C. Fields
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Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill
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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal
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And the cardiologist's diet:
If it tastes good spit it out.
author unknown

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Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Jokes of the Day ...

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What do cheerleaders drink before a basketball game?

Root beer
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Why can't the bicycle stand up on its own?

Because it's two tired.

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Monday, June 19, 2017

Jokes of the Day ...

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How does the Atlantic Ocean pay its bills?

With sand dollars.
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Which is braver, a rock or a stump?

A rock, because it's a little boulder.

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“Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.”
― Steven Wright
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Sunday, June 18, 2017

Joke of the Day

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^_^) - Darned Old Age!

A couple in their nineties are BOTH having problems remembering things. They decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they're physically in good condition for their age, but if they are having trouble remembering they might want to start writing things down to help them.

Later that night while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.

"Where are you going?" his wife asks.

"To the kitchen" he replies.

"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

"Sure."

"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks, recalling the doctor's suggestion.

"No, I can remember it."

"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better write it down because you know you'll forget it."

He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd better write it down!" she retorts.

Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down. Just don't start with that! Leave me alone!! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. I got it, for goodness sake!" Then he grumbles on into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "Where's my toast?"
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Saturday, June 17, 2017

Joke of the day ...

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What do they call a REALLY old cow?

A legend-DAIRY cow

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Friday, June 16, 2017

B&N Free Friday Selection

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Free at posting:

FREE FRIDAY SELECTION

Lost Lives

https://bookclubs.barnesandnoble.com/external-link.jspa?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.barnesandnoble.com%2Fw%2Flost-lives-malcolm-richards%2F1122739450%3Fean%3D2940152862348

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Free Books June 16, 2017 ...

Sookie's Birthday Surprise

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Friday, June 30, 2017

B&N Free Friday Selection

Free Books for June 30, 2017

Thursday, June 29, 2017

Joke of the Day

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

Jokes of the Day ...

Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Summer Rerun

Monday, June 26, 2017

Joke of the Day ...

Sunday, June 25, 2017

Joke of the Day ....

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Joke of the Day ....

Friday, June 23, 2017

B&N Free Friday Selection

Free Books Friday June 23, 2017 ...

Thursday, June 22, 2017

Summer Rerun ...

Joke of the Day ..

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Joke of the Day ...

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Jokes of the Day ...

Monday, June 19, 2017

Jokes of the Day ...

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Joke of the Day

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Joke of the day ...

Friday, June 16, 2017

B&N Free Friday Selection

Free Books June 16, 2017 ...