Poem I wrote

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A SMATTERING OF MATTERING 

Years ago

I began playing Scrabble online

When I first began it Mattered

It Mattered very much

My heart would race during a close game

If I won

I was gloriously triumphant 

If I lost

I was incensed with the defeat

I have played this game with the same bunch of women

For years

Sometimes I win

Sometimes I lose

(Much depends on "letter luck")

Occasionally I make a brilliant move

Occasionally I make a foolish move

But the most interesting thing to me

Is that now it barely matters

My heart does not pound

Winning and losing are both fine

The game is still fun and challenging

My neurons fire on cue

But it doesn't really Matter

Did I like it better when it Mattered?

No

Because it had control over me

Now I have control over it 

Because it barely Matters to me

Whether I win or lose

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