Wednesday, August 31, 2016

Joke of the Day ....

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After a day fishing on Lake Michigan, a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two live brown trout swimming in a bucket. He is approached by a Conservation Officer who asks him for his fishing license.
The fisherman says to the warden, "I was not fishing and I did not catch these browns, they are my pets. Every day I come down to the water and dump these fish into the water and take them for a walk to the end of the pier and back. When I'm ready to go I whistle and the...y jump back into the bucket and we go home."
The officer not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license.

The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the thrashing trout back into the water.
The warden says, "Now whistle to your fish and show me that they will jump out of the water and into the bucket."
The fisherman turns to the officer and says, "What fish?"

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Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Free Nook Book ...

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Free at time of posting:

The Recipe


http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-recipe-candace-calvert/1123664451?ean=9781496415622

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Free Nook Book ...

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Free at time of posting:


The Last Man


http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/finches-of-mars-brian-aldiss/1113600081?ean=9781504005913

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Free Nook Book ....

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Free at time of posting:

I Hated to Do It: Stories of a Life


http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/i-hated-to-do-it-donald-c-farber/1120827000?ean=9780795344794

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Joke of the Day .....

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A sailor was caught AWOL as he tried to sneak on board his ship at about 3 am. The chief petty officer spied him and ordered the sailor to stop. The officer ordered the sailor, "Take this broom and sweep every link on this anchor chain by morning or it's the brig for you!"

The sailor picked up the broom and started to sweep the chain.
Just then, a tern landed on the broom handle. The sailor yelled at the bird to leave, but it didn't. The lad picked the tern off the broom handle, giving the bird a toss.

The bird left, only to return and light once again on the broom handle. The sailor went through the same routine all over again, with the same result.

He couldn't get any cleaning done because he could only sweep at the chain once or twice before the silly bird came back.

When morning came, so did the chief petty officer, to check up on his wayward sailor.

"What on earth have you been doing all night? This chain is no cleaner than when you started! What have you to say for yourself, sailor?" barked the chief.

"Honest, chief," came the reply, "I tossed a tern all night and couldn't sweep a link!"

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Monday, August 29, 2016

News Item of the Day .....

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Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

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Sunday, August 28, 2016

Joke of the Day ....

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor? A pachydermatologist.


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Advice of the Day ....

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{*_*} - Rules for Work
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
2. If it's really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it's going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.
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3. Always leave without telling anyone where you're going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don't open the door for me. Opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.
5. If you give me more than one job to do, don't tell me which is the priority. I am psychic.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
8. If you don't like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
9. If you have special instructions for a job, don't write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
10. Never introduce me to the people you're with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
11. Be nice to me only when the job I'm doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to manager's nightmare land.
12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it's nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.
13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I'm not here for the money anyway.
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Free Nook Books ...

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Free at time of posting :

If This Isn't Nice What Is? (Much) Expanded Second Edition: The Graduation Speeches and Other Words to Live By

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/if-this-isnt-nice-what-is-kurt-vonnegut/1122502585?ean=9780795348648

First Pet: Presidential Dogs, Cats and Other Critters

https://bookclubs.barnesandnoble.com/external-link.jspa?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.barnesandnoble.com%2Fw%2Ffirst-pet-the-associated-press%2F1123580251%3Fean%3D9780795347528

America Needs Talent: Attracting, Educating & Deploying the 21st-Century Workforce

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/america-needs-talent-jamie-merisotis/1121276313?ean=9780795345937

Iconic Cars

https://bookclubs.barnesandnoble.com/external-link.jspa?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.barnesandnoble.com%2Fw%2Ficonic-cars-road-track%2F1123580249%3Fean%3D9780795348136

My Time With The Kings

https://bookclubs.barnesandnoble.com/external-link.jspa?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.barnesandnoble.com%2Fw%2Fmy-time-with-the-kings-kathryn-johnson%2F1122726266%3Fean%3D9780795347993

Friday, August 26, 2016

B&N Free Friday Selection ..

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Free Friday B&N Selection ....

The Islanders: Volume 1: Zoey Fools Around and Jake Finds Out


http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-islanders-katherine-applegate/1120410011?ean=9780062340771

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Thursday, August 25, 2016

Free Nook Books for Friday August 26 ...

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LIST FOR FRIDAY August 26

Greetings fellow Nookies! Thanks to all who come here and thanks to B&N for their great Nook and the nifty selections for today. Please be sure to check the price before you click "buy" to make sure they are still freebies. (The link for each book is below the title of the book.)

*Also- If you read a book and like it please consider leaving the author a good feedback.

CHILDREN/YA

The Green Beans, Volume 3: The Curious Conundrum of Pan Gu

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-green-beans-volume-3-gabriel-gadget/1118326320?ean=2940045591775

I Wonder if They Grow Balloon Trees on the Moon

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/i-wonder-if-they-grow-balloon-trees-on-the-moon-brion-martin/1112648176?ean=2940152937305

Rita Morse and the Sinister Shadow

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/rita-morse-and-the-sinister-shadow-holly-hook/1029806548?ean=2940011192029

Mr. Kent's Wall of Wonders

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mr-kents-wall-of-wonders-dd-roy/1114303477?ean=2940044244948

More in this series:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Gabriel%20Gadget%22?Ntk=P_key_Contributor_List&Ns=P_Sales_Rank&Ntx=mode+matchall

Black Magick: A Sinister Romance

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/black-magick-yari-garcia/1122510133?ean=2940152089035

The Eagle Claw Hack

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-eagle-claw-hack-m-matheson/1120404677?ean=2940046193107

PARANORMAL/ SCIFI/ FANTASY

Burning Eagle

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/burning-eagle-navin-weeraratne/1122059481?ean=2940151948821

The Descent Series, Books 1-3: Death's Hand, The Darkest Gate, and Dark Union

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-descent-series-books-1-3-sm-reine/1114905119?ean=9781498932295

Collected: A Coveted Novella

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/collected-shawntelle-madison/1114813696?ean=9781498972901

Fires of Alexandria

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/fires-of-alexandria-thomas-k-carpenter/1104172820?ean=2940152081701

A Hidden Fire: Elemental Mysteries #1

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-hidden-fire-elizabeth-hunter/1120858453?ean=2940046436006

The Select (Seven Wonders Journals Series #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-select-peter-lerangis/1123118325?ean=9780062238900

Abandoned in Time (Doorways to the Past, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/abandoned-in-time-maggie-west/1123671878?ean=2940153192529

Shadows of the Past (EIDOLON, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/shadows-of-the-past-pamela-thorne/1121998030?ean=2940152142204

The Case of the Curious Killers

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/case-of-the-curious-killers-louis-bertrand-shalako/1103112025?ean=2940011131936

Jeremy Chikalto and the Demon Trace (Book III of The Hazy Souls)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/jeremy-chikalto-and-the-demon-trace-ts-debrosse/1119883204?ean=2940046038590

My Curious Ocean

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/my-curious-ocean-ulf-wolf/1113888064?ean=2940045099301

Return to Darkness (Flame Universe, #1)


http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/return-to-darkness-marie-trace/1120421161?ean=2940046242102


The Magic Mirror (The Curious Collectibles Series)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-magic-mirror-lana-hart/1119711553?ean=9781498951975

The Curious Case of the Broken Window

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-curious-case-of-the-broken-window-bryan-porter/1111649641?ean=2940033259182

REPRISAL!: The Eagle Rises: World War Three Is Inevitable (The Reprisal Series, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/reprisal-cliff-roberts/1124330118?ean=2940153415185

NONFICTION

Under the Laughter of Eagles

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/under-the-laughter-of-eagles-michael-mcquaid/1114999243?ean=2940044417052

The Curious Case of Edward Grace: A Short Story about Community Service in Higher Education

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-curious-case-of-edward-grace-larry-laforge/1114304233?ean=2940044251656

Super Drum Tips Handbook: For Drummers Who Are Serious About Music, Drums & Percussion

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/super-drum-tips-handbook-daniel-n-brown/1114970889?ean=2940044405745

The Engineering Menu

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-engineering-menu-prakash-hegade/1123773446?ean=2940153010441

Tweet Like an Eagle!

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/tweet-like-an-eagle-d-arthur-watson/1112219424?ean=2940011493904

Learn Skip Tracing

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/learn-skip-tracing-valerie-mcgilvrey/1113887768?ean=2940045101981

Alexander the Great: Tactician or Eagle?

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/alexander-the-great-john-j-donnangelo/1102267542?ean=2940011298189

Residual Trace: The Taleworthy Catastrophes of a Thrillseeking Child

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/residual-trace-tracy-mansfield/1120743325?ean=2940046260670

The History of Cuba in 50 Events (History by Country Timeline, #3)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-history-of-cuba-in-50-events-henry-freeman/1123598329?ean=2940152847253

When The Eagle Screams

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/when-the-eagle-screams-stephen-bowman/1002240511?ean=2940000836224

HEALTH/WELLNESS

Drop Fat The low Carb Way

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/drop-fat-the-low-carb-way-high-protein-low-carb-diet-low-carb-vegetarian-diet-low-carb-diet-menu-low-carb-high-protein-diet-low-carbohydrate-diet-best-low-carb-diet-federico-calafati/1123785140?ean=9786050431896

My Low Carbohydrate Home Menu

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/my-low-carbohydrate-home-menu-fernando-urias/1115951752?ean=2940044621268

Healthy Diet Menu: A Wide Selection of Healthy Recipes

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/healthy-diet-menu-marion-miles/1119947009?ean=9781634280358

ROMANCE

Leave No Trace (The Aldridge Sisters)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/leave-no-trace-tanya-anne-crosby/1121202999?ean=2940151734264

The Wrong Brother: A Regency Romance (#1 A Forbidden Love Novella Series)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-wrong-brother-bree-wolf/1123848134?ean=2940152984682

Gather the Stars (Culloden's Fire)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/gather-the-stars-kimberly-cates/1000141847?ean=2940152256147

Fire Burn and Cauldron Bubble

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/fire-burn-and-cauldron-bubble-h-p-mallory/1030143914?ean=2940011091308

Fire in Frost (Crystal Frost, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/fire-in-frost-alicia-rades/1121495563?ean=2940152131796

Getting Out of Hand, Sapphire Falls book one

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/getting-out-of-hand-sapphire-falls-book-one-erin-nicholas/1119946284?ean=2940151746687

Forgetting the Past

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/forgetting-the-past-brenda-kennedy/1123892388?ean=2940153060330

CHRISTIAN/ CLEAN/ HISTORIC

Star of Wonder (The Incense Road, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/star-of-wonder-tracy-higley/1122925031?ean=2940152663716

The Governess Affair

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-governess-affair-courtney-milan/1110339393?ean=2940046325478

The Earl's London Bride: A Sweet & Clean Historical Romance

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-earls-london-bride-lauren-royal/1123674871?ean=2940153217291

ADA's Secret - A Tale of The Big Beautiful Bride

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mail-order-bride-faye-sonja/1123576081?ean=2940152852202

Headstrong Bride Married by Thanksgiving (Brides for Three Seasons Book1, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mail-order-bride-faye-sonja/1123562762?ean=2940152776874

Big Beautiful Bride For The Reluctant Preacher

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mail-order-bride-big-beautiful-bride-for-the-reluctant-preacher-rosie-attwood/1123490041?ean=2940152844573

The Poor and Widowed Bride for Two Suitors

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mail-order-bride-faye-sonja/1123909689?ean=2940153247168

The Bride's Lost Baby & The Miner (Brides & Babies Head West Book1, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mail-order-bride-faye-sonja/1124084321?ean=2940153322995

The Journey's Crossroad

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-journeys-crossroad-taylor-r-lawson/1124268289?ean=2940153412344

A Cowboy's Salvation

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-cowboys-salvation-taylor-r-lawson/1124100067?ean=2940153391359

FICTION

Without a Trace

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/without-a-trace-dario-g-gonzalez/1117349396?ean=2940151949859

The Tibetan Drum

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-tibetan-drum-ylia-callan/1116226766?ean=9781291476378

A Sinister Grin

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-sinister-grin-ron-houston/1104728174?ean=2940011439193

Short Stories, Crimes, Cults and Curious Cats

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/short-stories-crimes-cults-and-curious-cats-jonathan-day/1124094960?ean=2940153123189

SPIRITUALITY/ PHILOSOPHY/ RELIGION

Exploring the Divine: Finding God's Heart in Words of Wonder

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/exploring-the-divine-lance-thollander/1105173223?ean=9780979001925

Wings Like Eagles: A Prayer Book

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/wings-like-eagles-kim-bond/1122663232?ean=2940152351460

MYSTERY/ THRILLER

Eagle of Darkness

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/eagle-of-darkness-christopher-wright/1100068641?ean=2940152462166

Dead Wrong (Blackmoore Sisters Cozy Mystery Series, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/dead-wrong-leighann-dobbs/1116009811?ean=2940046248906

Miranda Warning (A Murder in the Mountains, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/miranda-warning-heather-day-gilbert/1120173390;jsessionid=51C892BC831602854B27ACA6A07DEC1D.prodny_store02-atgap05?ean=2940153253077

Two Wrongs - A Gripping Private Detective Mystery Thriller (Roberts and Bradley Casebook, #3)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/two-wrongs-a-gripping-private-detective-mystery-thriller-solomon-carter/1124088627?ean=2940153389653

Stone of Fire (ARKANE Thrillers, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/stone-of-fire-jfpenn/1121822202?ean=2940152667691

The Sinister Seminar (Events To Die For Series, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-sinister-seminar-sara-robbins/1116829851?ean=2940148610014

Well Past Trouble: Zero Hour Trilogy part three

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/well-past-trouble-rob-lofthouse/1123110060?ean=9781784293499

Strawberry Cream Cupcake & Murder (A Dana Sweet Cozy Mystery, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/strawberry-cream-cupcake-murder-ann-s-marie/1123238327?ean=2940152801859

The Gadwall Incident

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-gadwall-incident-ridley-pearson/1124016280?ean=9780062661272

Locked Room - A Katla KillFile (Amsterdam Assassin Series, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/locked-room-a-katla-killfile-martyn-v-halm/1114059040?ean=2940016138909

Murder on the Rocks. (Boddington Bay Series, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/murder-on-the-rocks-lucinda-d-davis/1123719224?ean=2940153226675

Trace the Dead Eye

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/trace-the-dead-eye-steven-d-bennett/1100450228?ean=2940011096068

Mirth, Murder & Mystery

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mirth-murder-mystery-jenna-bennett/1115134242?ean=2940153180243

Playing With Fire

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/playing-with-fire-sherry-d-ficklin/1122198652?ean=2940151993128

Frozen Past

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/frozen-past-richard-c-hale/1109560228?ean=2940045693240

The Wrong Menu

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-wrong-menu-nick-wastnage/1008023966?ean=2940033266630

Murder On The Oceania - A Cruise Ship Cozy Mystery, Book 1

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/murder-on-the-oceania-a-cruise-ship-cozy-mystery-book-1-elizabeth-martin/1124076543?ean=2940153257563

Trial By Fire

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/trial-by-fire-diann-mills/1123838460?ean=9781496420091

Charles Doyle & The Curious Case of the Blue Dog _part 1: A New Mystery Calls

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/charles-doyle-the-curious-case-of-the-blue-dog-part-1-mm-wake/1121342214?ean=2940046611939

More freebies in the series:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22MM%20Wake%22?Ntk=P_key_Contributor_List&Ns=P_Sales_Rank&Ntx=mode+matchall

Shadows of the Past (Logan Point Book #1): A Novel

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/shadows-of-the-past-patricia-bradley/1115664299?ean=9781441212269

When Eagles Burn (Maddox Book #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/when-eagles-burn-jack-hayes/1122300148?ean=2940152030815

FOREIGN

Zwölf Wasser 1 - Teil 1

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/zw-lf-wasser-1-teil-1-e-l-greiff/1120824549?ean=9783423425766

Zwölf Wyoming Western August 2016

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/zw-lf-wyoming-western-august-2016-alfred-bekker/1124320028?ean=9783739667843

Zwölf Gedichte

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/zw-lf-gedichte-phil-humor/1116816439?ean=9783730945421

Prasselndes Wasser

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/prasselndes-wasser-selina-adams/1118197343?ean=9783730976937

Blut ist dicker als Wasser

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/blut-ist-dicker-als-wasser-andrea-kochniss/1124217601?ean=9783739666181

SPECULATION

The Anti-Soapbox: Collected Essays

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-anti-soapbox-aaron-garrison/1120196665?ean=2940046124927

GRAPHIC NOVEL

DC Sneak Peek: Superman/Wonder Woman (2015) #1 (NOOK Comic with Zoom View)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/dc-sneak-peek-peter-j-tomasi/1121870410?ean=2940151791649

HUMOR

Anselm's Eagle

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/anselms-eagle-peter-wilson/1122692387?ean=2940152368864

POETRY

Such Deliberate Loveliness: Collected Love Poems of Paul Hina 1997-2006

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/such-deliberate-loveliness-paul-hina/1021375678?ean=2940000839935

Collected Poems, Vol 1

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/collected-poems-vol-1-jake-connor-moss/1124326953?ean=2940153667942

Graffiti Collected in a Tome from the Streets of Ancient Rome

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/graffiti-collected-in-a-tome-from-the-streets-of-ancient-rome-manuela-cardiga/1119478105?ean=2940045934428

On the Wings of Eagles

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/on-the-wings-of-eagles-john-hansen/1122554902?ean=9781326377588

God's Wonders, The Robin

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/gods-wondersthe-robin-christine-bojahra/1119899206?ean=2940046048155

Questioning Our Animal Friends: Ant, Goose, Deer, and Eagle

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/questioning-our-animal-friends-nancie-louise/1121271904?ean=2940046587951
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Jokes of the Day .....

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How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That's a hardware problem!


“The past, the present and the future walk into a bar. Then things get tense.”


“Two jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender says, "You guys better not start anything in here!”

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Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Joke of the Day ...

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A man is driving along a highway and sees a rabbit jump out across the middle of the road. He swerves to avoid hitting it, but unfortunately the rabbit jumps right in front of the car.

The driver, a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulls over and gets out to see what has become of the rabbit. Much to his dismay, the rabbit is dead. The driver feels so awful that he begins to cry.

A beautiful woman driving down the highway sees the man crying on the side of the road ...and pulls over. She steps out of the car and asks the man what's wrong.

"I feel terrible," ! he explains, " I accidentally hit this rabbit and killed it."

The woman says, " Don't worry."

She runs to her car and pulls out a spray can. She walks over to the limp, dead rabbit, bends down, and sprays the contents onto the rabbit. The rabbit jumps up waves its paw at the two of them and hops off down the road.

Ten feet away the rabbit stops, turns around and waves again, he hops down the road another 10 feet, turns and waves, hops another ten feet, turns and waves, and repeats this again and again and again, until he hops out of sight.

The man is astonished. He runs over to the woman and demands, " What is in that can? What did you spray on that rabbit?"

The woman turns the can around so the man can read the label
 
It says..

"Hair Spray -
Restores life to dead hair,
and adds permanent wave."

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Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Joke of the Day ....

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The Pope

After getting all of The Pope's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver in New York City notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb.

"Excuse a-me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please-a take-a your seat so we can-a leave?"

"Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."
...
"I'm-a sorry but I cannot-a let you do that. I'd-a lose-a my job! And what if-a something should-a happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

"There might be something extra in it for you, "says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

"Please a- slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

"Oh, dear heaven, I'm-a gonna lose a my license," moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

"I need-a to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

"So bust him," says the Chief.

"I don't a think we wanna do that, he's a-really important," said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed," All the more reason!"

"No, I mean a really important," said the cop.

The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "Governor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "President?"

Cop: "Bigger"

"Bigger than the President? - ridiculous," said the Chief, "Who is it?"

Cop: "I think it's God!"

Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"

Cop: "He's got the Pope as a chauffeur!!"

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Sunday, August 21, 2016

Joke of the Day ...

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Memory Class

An elderly couple had been experiencing declining memories, so they decided to take a power memory class where one is taught to remember things by association.
A few days after the class, the old man was outside talking with his neighbor about how much the class helped him.
...
"What was the name of the Instructor?" asked the neighbor.
"Oh, ummmm, let's see," the old man pondered.
"You know that flower, you know, the one that smells really nice but has those prickly thorns, what's that flower's name?"
"A rose?" asked the neighbor.
"Yes, that's it," replied the old man.
He then turned toward his house and shouted, "Hey, Rose, what's the name of the Instructor we took the memory class from?"

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Saturday, August 20, 2016

Jokes of the Day ...

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What has 2 wings and says moo?
A cow in a plane!
==================
Teacher: What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
...
Pupil: Middle names!

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Friday, August 19, 2016

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Free Friday Books for August 19 ...

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LIST FOR FRIDAY August 19

Greetings fellow Nookies! Thanks to all who come here and thanks to B&N for their great Nook and the nifty selections for today. Please be sure to check the price before you click "buy" to make sure they are still freebies. (The link for each book is below the title of the book.)

*Also- If you read a book and like it please consider leaving the author a good feedback.

CHILDREN/YA

Phonics: A Sounds - Book 1: Improve Your Child's Spelling and Reading Skills

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/phonics-katrina-kahler/1123507210?ean=2940152910407

A Common Language

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-common-language-caitlyn-bogart/1114770737?ean=2940044346246

Visions (The Mystical Encounters Series, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/visions-kimberly-readnour/1123516022?ean=2940152844993

Giggle Poetry Reading Lessons…

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/giggle-poetry-reading-lessons-sample-amy-buswell/1121369121?ean=9781451680867

PARANORMAL/ SCIFI/ FANTASY

A Reason to Live: A "Shadowdance" Variation

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-reason-to-live-mark-wooden/1124020856?ean=2940153099804

Future Visions: Original Science Fiction Inspired by Microsoft

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/future-visions-elizabeth-bear/1122956314?ean=9781595910936

Visions of Magic: The Kidnap of Gabrielle Ulan

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/visions-of-magic-shane-griffin/1114304588?ean=2940044257511

Carl Sagan's Hunt for Intelligent Life in the Universe (Archangel Project, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/carl-sagans-hunt-for-intelligent-life-in-the-universe-c-gockel/1123795968?ean=2940153195889

Distant Visions: Seven adventure tales exploring distant horizon


http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/distant-visions-rob-richardson/1123963942?ean=9783739656335


Artificial Intelligence

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/artificial-intelligence-ray-daley/1114512230?ean=2940044299146

The Vampire's Vision

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-vampires-vision-shawn-wiseman/1123264494?ean=2940153058146

Girl Gone Nova: Part One (Project Enterprise)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/girl-gone-nova-pauline-baird-jones/1120870655?ean=2940151757768

Night Visions: Cursed (Part 1 of a 4 part Serial)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/night-visions-ariana-dupre/1120195899?ean=2940046131215

Vision

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/vision-john-sharp/1121299874?ean=2940046601978

The Ethereal Vision

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-ethereal-vision-liam-donnelly/1121650562?ean=2940151841368

After the Common Era: The Origin of James Doleman

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/after-the-common-era-sean-clarkson/1114844222?ean=2940044375420

First Vision of Destiny: Alicia

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/first-vision-of-destiny-alicia-kallysten/1101224353?ean=2940011147890

NONFICTION

Common Sense (Wisehouse Classics Edition)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/common-sense-thomas-paine/1123153855?ean=9789176370551

Drive, Ride, Repeat: The Mostly-True Account of a Cross-Country Car and Bicycle Adventure

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/drive-ride-repeat-al-macy/1119199438?ean=2940151980142

Facebook Logout: Experiences and Reasons to Leave it

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/facebook-logout-experiences-and-reasons-to-leave-it-ivo-quartiroli/1108486537?ean=2940032989257

50 Reasons Why My Wife Is Amazing

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/50-reasons-why-my-wife-is-amazing-jason-king/1114041845?ean=2940045108874

Common Grounds

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/common-grounds-lee-warren/1122106109?ean=2940152133912

175 Common American English Idioms

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/175-common-american-english-idioms-madeleine-doan/1119854848?ean=9781312196506

90 Common French Phrases Every French Learner Should Know

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/90-common-french-phrases-every-french-learner-should-know-frederic-bibard/1120878011?ean=2940046446609

Boxing Science: Skills

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/boxing-science-skills-book-a-reference-guide-for-boxing-beginners-chadrick-wigle/1112317758?ean=2940044725423

Computer Vision Metrics: Survey, Taxonomy, and Analysis

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/computer-vision-metrics-scott-krig/1119412003?ean=9781430259305

Is There a Common Understanding of What Constitutes Cyber Warfare?

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/is-there-a-common-understanding-of-what-constitutes-cyber-warfare-shane-martin-coughlan/1123645145?ean=9781329987838

Meet Greet and Prosper

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/meet-greet-and-prosper-roy-sheppard/1103595464?ean=2940011320712

Principles and Practices of Quality Assurance

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/principles-and-practices-of-quality-assurance-ann-gravells/1124265775?ean=9781473994331

Social Skills 2-in-1 **BOX SET*

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/social-skills-2-in-1-box-set-ramit-gupta/1123475863?ean=2940152832266

Calm Down! Step-by-Step to a Calm, Relaxed, and Brilliant Family Dog (Essential Skills for a Brilliant Family Dog, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/calm-down-step-by-step-to-a-calm-relaxed-and-brilliant-family-dog-beverley-courtney/1123511883?ean=2940152822311

Avoid the 5 Most Common Saltwater Aquarium Mistakes

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/avoid-the-5-most-common-saltwater-aquarium-mistakes-albert-b-ulrich-iii/1118621033?ean=2940045684125

Social Skills Worries One Minute Relaxation

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/social-skills-worries-one-minute-relaxation-earnest-long/1114142050?ean=2940044212107

A Training Guide on Essential Protection Skills for Children with Mild Mental Disability

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-training-guide-on-essential-protection-skills-for-children-with-mild-mental-disability-befree-program/1114043715?ean=2940045134729

35 Reasons People Might Not Like You And Tips To Improving Your Relationship With Them

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/35-reasons-people-might-not-like-you-and-tips-to-improving-your-relationship-with-them-dele-oguntimehin/1123886038?ean=2940153055763

Life Beyond Reason: A Memoir of Mania

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/life-beyond-reason-kevin-rhodes/1119720792?ean=2940046001808

Winning Techniques for Public Speaking and Presenting

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/winning-techniques-for-public-speaking-and-presenting-chris-davidson/1124077331?ean=2940153413334

How to Improve Your Leadership and Management Skills

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-improve-your-leadership-and-management-skills-meir-liraz/1116913043?ean=9781501470424

2016 Commercial & Industrial Common Interest Development Act

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/2016-commercial-industrial-common-interest-development-act-epsten-grinnell-howell/1123327713?ean=2940152781748

The Best Little Book On Hiring

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-best-little-book-on-hiring-john-bishop/1121774745?ean=9781483552651

Survival Skills for School: Successful Study Techniques

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/survival-skills-for-school-catherine-ogorman/1116863335?ean=2940045249027

Survival Skills for School: Test-Taking Skills and Strategies

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/survival-skills-for-school-catherine-ogorman/1116863329?ean=2940045249409

Survival Skills for School: Organizing Your Way to an "A"

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/survival-skills-for-school-catherine-ogorman/1116863297?ean=2940045248457

Life Skills Training Manual

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/life-skills-training-manual-arthur-jjackson/1122557824?ean=9781329448674

Developing Soft Skills: An On-the-Go Workshop

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/developing-soft-skills-debra-wheatman/1115835379?ean=2940044593626

How to Approach Learning: What teachers and students should know about succeeding in school (Study Skills)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-approach-learning-fiona-mcpherson/1121877463?ean=2940152199857

Positive Learning Skills

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/positive-learning-skills-will-clark/1119387475?ean=2940045859509

How to Develop the Skills of Solving Problems

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/how-to-develop-the-skills-of-solving-problems-sesan-oguntade/1123892434?ean=2940153060873

Practical Map & Compass Skills (Practical Survival Series, #12)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/practical-map-compass-skills-tony-nester/1123499741?ean=2940152831283

Bushcraft: Bushcraft Skills For Beginners

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/bushcraft-the-blokehead/1121923390?ean=2940151917599

A Beginner's Guide to Desert Survival Skills

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-beginners-guide-to-desert-survival-skills-dueep-j-singh/1120364403?ean=2940046067965

10 Easy Ways To Master Communication Skills

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/10-easy-ways-to-master-communication-skills-jason-travis/1122694925?ean=2940152237856

HEALTH/WELLNESS

Essential Oils For Allergies

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/essential-oils-for-allergies-scott-jenkins/1122518920?ean=2940152325669

Your 5-Minute Metaphysical Power Healing Guide: The Common Cold

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/your-5-minute-metaphysical-power-healing-guide-mimmo-gasbarri/1111940145?ean=2940044665972

Is There a Doctor In the House: Common Sense Medical Insights and Anecdotes from a Veteran Family Physician

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/is-there-a-doctor-in-the-house-dr-glenn-m-cosh/1115291421?ean=9781300906339

Drink Your Carbs: eat. drink. sweat. REPEAT

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/drink-your-carbs-steven-deutsch/1121232727?ean=2940151945608

COOKING

Tasty & Thin Grilling & Sides

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/tasty-thin-grilling-sides-nashina-asaria/1112317232?ean=2940044714656

Pie Recipes

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/pie-recipes-nancy-ross/1124120591?ean=2940153377858

Mediterranean Diet Cookbook - Best Recipes for Healthy Weight Loss

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mediterranean-diet-cookbook-best-recipes-for-healthy-weight-loss-mario-fortunato/1121098280?ean=2940151750394

Electric Pressure Cooker Cookbook

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/electric-pressure-cooker-cookbook-vanessa-olsen/1123760932?ean=2940153039510

Paleo Diet For Beginners Amazing Recipes

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/paleo-diet-for-beginners-amazing-recipes-for-paleo-snacks-paleo-lunches-paleo-smoothies-paleo-desserts-paleo-breakfast-and-paleo-dinners-ned-campbell/1123196967?ean=2940152547771

CrockPot / Slow Cook Low Carb Recipes (Low Carb Reference, #6)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/crockpot-slow-cook-low-carb-recipes-lisa-shea/1121030357?ean=2940151752084

The Ultimate Fruit Infused Water Recipe Book

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-ultimate-fruit-infused-water-recipe-book-orlando-scott/1124218491?ean=2940153392769

The Ultimate Smoothie Recipe Book

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-ultimate-smoothie-recipe-book-orlando-scott/1124218641?ean=2940153315973

Low Carb Slow Cooker - Deliciously Simple Low Carb Recipes For Healthy Living

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/low-carb-slow-cooker-sara-banks/1121954078?ean=2940152154962

The Wholesome Cook Companion

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-wholesome-cook-companion-martyna-angell/1123368993?ean=9781489206787

ROMANCE

The Only Reason for the London Season

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-only-reason-for-the-london-season-kristin-vayden/1118620168?ean=2940045704892

The Vision, A Dark Romance

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-vision-a-dark-romance-april-grey/1108337606?ean=2940032973652

The Bare Witch Project

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-bare-witch-project-celeste-hall/1120724560;jsessionid=352D136EADA80EB9EACF45EFB4E47199.prodny_store01-atgap06?ean=2940046394054

Blame it on Mistletoe (North Pole, Alaska, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/blame-it-on-mistletoe-noelle-fox/1122576942?ean=2940152226386

Some Like It Perfect (A Temporary Engagement)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/some-like-it-perfect-megan-bryce/1119080886?ean=2940045806947

It's Not My Favorite (The Lake Effect Series, Book 1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/its-not-my-favorite-rue/1119403830?ean=2940152506235

Make Me Forget (It's Kind Of Personal, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/make-me-forget-anna-brooks/1120724427?ean=2940046328639

All The Right Reasons [Damaged Heroes 3] (BookStrand Publishing Romance)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/all-the-right-reasons-damaged-heroes-book-3-sandy-james/1100404280?ean=9781606013083

CHRISTIAN/ CLEAN/ HISTORIC

A Cowboy's Salvation (Clean and Wholesome Western Cowboy Romance)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-cowboys-salvation-taylor-r-lawson/1124100067?ean=2940153391359

All the Way to Heaven

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/all-the-way-to-heaven-becky-doughty/1122509360?ean=2940152086546

Rania Ropes a Rancher (Brides with Grit, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/rania-ropes-a-rancher-linda-hubalek/1122172453?ean=2940152775730

The Billionaire's First Christmas: A Sweet Christmas Romance

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-billionaires-first-christmas-holly-rayner/1123955695?ean=2940153087948

Mail Order Bride - A Bride for Carlton (Sun River Brides, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mail-order-bride-a-bride-for-carlton-karla-gracey/1123871530?ean=2940153219103

Christian Romance: Heaven on Earth... [4 Beautiful Christian Romance Stories]

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/christian-romance-joanne-sawyer/1123851961?ean=2940153038360

Millie Marries a Marshal (Brides with Grit, #2)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/millie-marries-a-marshal-linda-k-hubalek/1122604303?ean=2940152780932

Ring of Truth (Silver Script Novels, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/ring-of-truth-jaclyn-weist/1122935858?ean=2940153198590

Mail Order Bride Margaret (Montana Destiny Brides, Book 1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mail-order-bride-margaret-amelia-rose/1123741171?ean=2940152995992

The Spice Bride (The Emberton Brothers Series, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-spice-bride-karen-aminadra/1123660355?ean=2940153253374

Mail Order Bride - A Bride for Ethan (Sun River Brides, #3)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mail-order-bride-a-bride-for-ethan-karla-gracey/1123878533?ean=2940152745481

Falling for You (Searching for Love, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/falling-for-you-christine-kersey/1123222422?ean=2940152776034

My Heart To Keep (The McPhee Clan

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/my-heart-to-keep-jillian-hart/1123596044?ean=2940152288568

An Unextraordinary Life

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/an-unextraordinary-life-jo-hollywood/1123861689?ean=2940153042725

Mail Order Bride - A Bride for Daniel (Sun River Brides, #6)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mail-order-bride-a-bride-for-daniel-karla-gracey/1124295940?ean=2940153188683

FICTION

A Teacher's Guide for a Prayer for Owen Meany: Common-Core Aligned Teacher Materials and a Sample Chapter

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-teachers-guide-for-a-prayer-for-owen-meany-john-irving/1119566050?ean=9780062374295

A Teacher's Guide to American Tapestry: Common-Core Aligned Teacher Materials and a Sample Chapter

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-teachers-guide-to-american-tapestry-rachel-l-swarns/1119566052?ean=9780062374318

A Teacher's Guide to Lincoln: Common-Core Aligned Teacher Materials and a Sample Chapter

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-teachers-guide-to-lincoln-harold-holzer/1119566046?ean=9780062374257

A Teacher's Guide to Their Eyes Were Watching God: Common-Core Aligned Teacher Materials and a Sample Chapter

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-teachers-guide-to-their-eyes-were-watching-god-zora-neale-hurston/1119566047?ean=9780062374264

A Teacher's Guide to Brave New World: Common-Core Aligned Teacher Materials and a Sample Chapter

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-teachers-guide-to-brave-new-world-aldous-huxley/1119566048?ean=9780062374271

A Teacher's Guide to Ladies of Liberty: Common-Core Aligned Teacher Materials and a Sample Chapter

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-teachers-guide-to-ladies-of-liberty-cokie-roberts/1119566051?ean=9780062374301

A Teacher's Guide to Our Town: Common-Core Aligned Teacher Materials and a Sample Chapter

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-teachers-guide-to-our-town-thornton-wilder/1119566053?ean=9780062374332

A Teacher's Guide to Founding Mothers: Common-Core Aligned Teacher Materials and a Sample Chapter

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-teachers-guide-to-founding-mothers-cokie-roberts/1119566049?ean=9780062374288

A Teacher's Guide to The Alchemist: Common-Core Aligned Teacher Materials and a Sample Chapter

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-teachers-guide-to-the-alchemist-paulo-coelho/1119566045?ean=9780062374240

The Great Mother

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-great-mother-beth-reason/1119159921?ean=2940045816533

Common Social Disabilities

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/common-social-disabilities-william-sellers/1124099514;jsessionid=B72812A6EE0B13F934C5266ED8F2A1A7.prodny_store01-atgap05?ean=9781365244575

SPIRITUALITY/ PHILOSOPHY/ RELIGION

Common Christian Teachings Compared With a Course In Miracles Teachings

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/common-christian-teachings-compared-with-a-course-in-miracles-teachings-alan-steinle/1117011980?ean=9781329746145

Common Misreads Of Reality

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/common-misreads-of-reality-damion-boyd/1123735840?ean=2940152992090

Isaiah's End-Time Vision: The Desert Shall "Blossom As the Rose" - and So Shall the Universe!

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/isaiahs-end-time-vision-gerald-flurry/1117683569?ean=9781304502025

Jeremiah and the Greatest Vision In the Bible

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/jeremiah-and-the-greatest-vision-in-the-bible-gerald-flurry/1117683570?ean=9781304502049

One Vision, Ten Meditations, Half A Dozen Angels

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/one-vision-ten-meditations-half-a-dozen-angels-john-porter/1109801445?ean=2940033078332

Dreams, Visions and Seers

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/dreams-visions-and-seers-peter-mcarthur/1119887028?ean=2940046040968

Greeting Buddha

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/greeting-buddha-john-moncure-wetterau/1123294062?ean=2940152595475

8 Reasons Your Life Matters

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/8-reasons-your-life-matters-john-herrick/1115381215?ean=2940044534131

The Logic of Faith: The Scales of Reason

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-logic-of-faith-domenic-marbaniang/1115550399?ean=9781304035325

Jesus & Mary in the Qur'an

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/jesus-mary-in-the-quran-peace-vision/1109230606?ean=9781471604478

The Prophet Muhammad as a Husband

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-prophet-muhammad-as-a-husband-peace-vision/1108931408?ean=9781471629518

Captive to Reason

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/captive-to-reason-vincent-cheung/1120952967?ean=9781312708570

Common or Garden Dharma. Essays on Contemporary Buddhism, Volume 1

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/common-or-garden-dharma-essays-on-contemporary-buddhism-volume-1-michel-clasquin-johnson/1029803532?ean=2940011200670

A Plain Book Of Common Sense For Your Life And Christian Faith

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-plain-book-of-common-sense-for-your-life-and-christian-faith-patrick-kelly/1116985865?ean=2940045287692

MYSTERY/ THRILLER

DI Matt Barnes 1: A Reason To Kill

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/di-matt-barnes-1-michael-kerr/1114305206?ean=2940044267909

White Jade (The Project, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/white-jade-alexander-lukeman/1104512196;jsessionid=352D136EADA80EB9EACF45EFB4E47199.prodny_store01-atgap06?ean=2940152160642

Drone (State Of Reason Mystery, Prequel)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/drone-miles-a-maxwell/1123955500?ean=2940153085562

Loss Of Reason (State Of Reason Mystery, Book 1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/loss-of-reason-miles-a-maxwell/1122841075?ean=2940152419849

COVER ART

It Started With Love: A Paranormal Shifter Romance (Heart of a Bear, Book 1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/it-started-with-love-mary-phisher/1122783939?ean=2940152758887

Bearing It All (The Jamesburg Shifters, #2)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/bearing-it-all-lynn-red/1118923373?ean=2940152673746

SPECULATION

God-Inspired Visions and Dreams

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/god-inspired-visions-and-dreams-glenn-w-worthington/1108337021?ean=2940032979418

Artificial intelligence and expert systems : will they change the library?

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/artificial-intelligence-and-expert-systems-clinic-on-library-applications-of-data-processing/1025810332?ean=2940017430163

HUMOR

Leave Me Alone! Greeting Messages for the Misanthropist

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/leave-me-alone-greeting-messages-for-the-misanthropist-virgil-h-castleberry/1114821227?ean=2940044363533

POETRY

The Persistence Of Tunnel Vision

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-persistence-of-tunnel-vision-rori-okeeffe/1116157809?ean=2940044654129

A Clear Vision

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-clear-vision-j-samuel/1124265693?ean=2940153157900
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Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Bricks of the Day ...

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Bricks
Put about 100 bricks in some particular order in a closed room with an open window. Then send 2 or 3 candidates in the room and close the door. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours and then analyze the situation.
If they are counting the bricks. Put them in the accounts department.
...
If they are recounting them. Put them in auditing.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks. Put them in engineering.
If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order. Put them in planning.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other. Put them in operations.
If they are sleeping. Put them in security.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces. Put them in information technology.
If they are sitting idle. Put them in human resources.
If they say they have tried different combinations, yet not a brick has been moved. Put them in sales.
If they have already left for the day. Put them in marketing.
If they are staring out of the window. Put them on strategic planning.
And then last but not least.
If they are talking to each other and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Executive Management.

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Humor of the Day ...

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(^_^) - Strange and Funny Tombstones

Born 1903-Died 1942
Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the
car was on the way down. It was.

******************************

In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:

Here lies an Atheist
All dressed up
And no place to go.

******************************

In a London, England cemetery:

Here lies Ann Mann,
Who lived an old maid
But died an old Mann.
Dec. 8, 1767

****************************

In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:

Anna Wallace:
The children of Israel wanted bread,
And the Lord sent them manna.
Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,
And the Devil sent him Anna.

******************************

In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:

Here lies Johnny Yeast..
Pardon me
For not rising.

******************************

In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.
Stepped on the gas
Instead of the brake.

******************************

In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:

Here lays The Kid.
We planted him raw.
He was quick on the trigger
But slow on the draw.

****************************

A lawyer's epitaph in England:

Sir John Strange. .
Here lies an honest lawyer,
And that is Strange.

*****************************

John Penny's epitaph in the Wimborne, England, cemetery:

Reader, if cash thou art
In want of any,
Dig 6 feet deep;
And thou wilt find a Penny.

*****************************

In a cemetery in Hartscombe, England:

On the 22nd of June,
Jonathan Fiddle
Went out of tune.

*****************************

Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls,Vermont

Here lies the body of our Anna -
Done to death by a banana.
It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,
But the skin of the thing that made her go.

******************************

On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:

Under the sod and under the trees,
Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.
He is not here, there's only the pod.
Pease shelled out and went to God

*****************************

In a cemetery in England:

Remember man, as you walk by,
As you are now, so once was I.
As I am now, you soon will be.
Prepare yourself and follow me.

To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:

To follow you I'll not consent
Until I know which way you went

******************************

Last add, from Boot Hill, in Tombstone, Arizona:

Here lies Lester Moore
One slug from a 44
No Les
No More

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Tuesday, August 16, 2016

Joke of the Day ....

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(^_^) - Why Parents Drink

A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then he saw an Envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow that was addressed to 'Dad.'
With the worst premonition he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter.
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes and the fact that she is much older than I am.
But it' s not only the passion...Dad she's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love, Your Son John
PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I Just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than a Report card that's in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me when it's safe to come home.

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Saturday, August 13, 2016

Jokes of the Day ..

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What should you do if you find a tiger in your bathroom?
Wait till he's finished!
===============
Doctor, doctor, a bee stung me. Can you put some ointment on it?
...
No, it’ll be long gone by now!

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Thursday, August 11, 2016

Free Friday List for August 12, 2016 ....

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LIST FOR FRIDAY August 12

Greetings fellow Nookies! Thanks to all who come here and thanks to B&N for their great Nook and the nifty selections for today. Please be sure to check the price before you click "buy" to make sure they are still freebies. (The link for each book is below the title of the book.)

*Also- If you read a book and like it please consider leaving the author a good feedback.

CHILDREN/YA

Nothing but Trouble after Midnight

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/nothing-but-trouble-after-midnight-kimberly-blackadar/1018819793?ean=2940046128673

Books for Girls: 4 Great Stories for 8 - 12 Year Olds

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/books-for-girls-katrina-kahler/1123482127?ean=2940046466195

Wrong All Along

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/wrong-all-along-daisy-jordan/1009000149?ean=2940011344008

The Great Plane Robbery

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-great-plane-robbery-jt-lewis/1120310660?ean=2940046140118

PARANORMAL/ SCIFI/ FANTASY

Fairy Tale Reversed

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/fairy-tale-reversed-ileana-coca/1116796635?ean=9781291947533

The Kalarthri (The Way to Freedom, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-kalarthri-h-m-clarke/1117705321?ean=2940152682083

The Clockwork God (Aboard the Great Iron Horse, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-clockwork-god-jamie-sedgwick/1119985544;jsessionid=7C0A4F6CAB6B2E5F69403E7F59B27E39.prodny_store02-atgap01?ean=9781501455100

Bottled Lightning

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/bottled-lightning-philip-harris/1123238288?ean=2940152844443

Reverse Man

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/reverse-man-mario-v-farina/1123818306?ean=2940153025063

Silent Queen

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/silent-queen-lizzy-ford/1123482004?ean=2940152896206

Mercenary

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mercenary-lizzy-ford/1123637515?ean=2940152957006

More by this author:

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/%22Lizzy%20Ford%22?Ntk=P_key_Contributor_List&Ns=P_Sales_Rank&Ntx=mode+matchall

NONFICTION

Abraham Lincoln: The Formative Years 1809-1841

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/abraham-lincoln-mary-beth-smith/1122527797?ean=2940152095173

Neuroethics and Consciousness

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/neuroethics-and-consciousness-res-cogitans/1121732221?ean=2940151865326

Attention, Better Attention, and Best Attention: A Guide for Enjoyably Increasing Effectiveness

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/attention-better-attention-and-best-attention-ernest-llynn-lotecka/1113573842?ean=2940045002875

Get More Done in Less Time

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/get-more-done-in-less-time-beau-norton/1122669546?ean=2940152267440

Supercharge Your Life: 7 Habits To Increase Your Success And Happiness

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/supercharge-your-life-sandra-leon/1123726032?ean=2940153247298

The Trolley Mission 1945: Germany, 24 Hours After World War II

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-trolley-mission-1945-markus-lenz/1122559817?ean=2940152104738

Martin Tells a Story: Struggles of the Great Lakes Native Americans


http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/martin-tells-a-story-carlie-mae/1118971722?ean=9781304905390

Twelve Years a Slave (NOOK Edition)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/twelve-years-a-slave-northup-solomon/1121461679?ean=2940152130065

The Message in Dad's Bottle

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-message-in-dads-bottle-sandy-appleyard/1026426236?ean=2940152009408

30 Ways to Build New Habits and Make Them Stick: Cheat Sheet

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/30-ways-to-build-new-habits-and-make-them-stick-lidiya-k/1122718184?ean=2940152376777

Seven Great Golf Tips

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/seven-great-golf-tips-gregor-grund/1114044918?ean=2940044200524

The Increasing Popularity of China Stamps

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-increasing-popularity-of-china-stamps-richard-tang/1123507297?ean=2940152913057

From Fairest Creatures We Desire Increase (Studies on Shakespeare's Sonnets, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/from-fairest-creatures-we-desire-increase-l-n-nino/1123501790?ean=2940152788853

Living On A Shoestring (Common Sense Ways to Save Money)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/living-on-a-shoestring-anna-florin/1021181555?ean=2940011419126

Passive Income: Top 7 Ways to Make Money Online While Quitting Your 9-5 Job and Enjoy Freedom In Your Life

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/passive-income-brian-curry/1123592739?ean=2940153187181

24 Hour Mobile Website

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/24-hour-mobile-website-colin-mack/1114620656?ean=2940044315655

Nursing Careers: Easily Choose

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/nursing-careers-chase-hassen/1123628492?ean=2940153227160

Chainmail Made Easy: Learn to Chainmail in 24 Hours or Less!

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/chainmail-made-easy-jeff-baker/1120337382?ean=2940046335231

25 Years in the Rearview Mirror: 52 Authors Look Back

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/25-years-in-the-rearview-mirror-stacy-juba/1112413546?ean=2940045058087

HEALTH/WELLNESS

Sampler: Clean Eating Alice: Kick Start Your New Year

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/sampler-alice-liveing/1123152411?ean=9780008167189

Diabetes: Cure Diabetes with Food: Eating to Prevent, Control and Reverse Diabetes

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/diabetes-david-sparks/1123529402?ean=2940152811643

Can Diabetes be Cured?: Reverse it Naturally Fast

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/can-diabetes-be-cured-diabetes-doctor/1124235552?ean=2940153376752

Little Bottles (An Alcoholic Biography)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/little-bottles-jt-aames/1120900883?ean=2940046454161

The Dog Food Diet: Reverse or cure your Type II Diabetes, or tackle serious weight issues, with sensible advice ... from a dog!

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-dog-food-diet-max-merrybear/1122469137?ean=2940153168715

60+ Practical Tips And Habits To Lose Weight, Burn Fat, And Feel Great!

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/60-practical-tips-and-habits-to-lose-weight-burn-fat-and-feel-great-sara-banks/1121017985?ean=2940046495874

Diabetes: Reverse Your Diabetes With a Clear and Concise Step by Step Guide

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/diabetes-david-corr/1123286637?ean=2940152749922

45 Fat Burning Secrets: Easy Ways To Lose Weight Fast and Keep It Off

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/45-fat-burning-secrets-jenny-allan/1115446426?ean=2940044540323

3 Week Diet: The 3 Week Diet for Women

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/3-week-diet-jennifer-smith/1123083618?ean=2940152495348

Total Body Cleanse

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/total-body-cleanse-jessica-lopez/1121714917?ean=2940151858489

Healthy Dieting: Increase Health with Blood Type Recipes and Grain Free

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/healthy-dieting-sandra-collins/1119569455?ean=9781632878854

Get Rid of Dark Eye Circles and Look Younger

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/get-rid-of-dark-eye-circles-and-look-younger-kay-raymer/1119720616?ean=2940152788792

Belly Fat Diet: Burn Belly Fat


http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/belly-fat-diet-jennifer-howard/1119002768?ean=9781631877872

COOKING

Superfoods Cookbook: Great Superfoods for the Superfoods Diet

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/superfoods-cookbook-margaret-parker/1119569433?ean=9781632872371

Paleo Slow Cooker: Phenomenal Slow Cooker Recipes

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/paleo-slow-cooker-michael-jessimy/1122885387?ean=2940152739244

Grandmother's Cookbook, Egg-cellent, Authentic Antique Recipes from 100+ Years Ago

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/grandmothers-cookbook-egg-cellent-authentic-antique-recipes-from-100-years-ago-mimi-riser/1122797587?ean=2940152408782

Smoothie Recipes: The Best Smoothie Recipes

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/smoothie-recipes-anthony-anholt/1120858979?ean=2940046457384

Superfoods: Top Superfoods and Superfoods Recipes

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/superfoods-ashley-reiss/1119002760?ean=9781631879746

Five Ingredient Cookbook

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/five-ingredient-cookbook-hannie-p-scott/1122841833?ean=2940152419382

ROMANCE

Goodnight Kisses: A Way to Redemption Prequel (Way of Hearts Saga)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/goodnight-kisses-wilhelmina-stolen/1124079117?ean=2940153116549

Looking for You


http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/looking-for-you-lindsay-paige/1120426859?ean=2940046202526

The Great Brownie Taste-off (The Yolanda's Yummery Series, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-great-brownie-taste-off-lisa-maliga/1119385033?ean=2940149262366

The Second Oldest Profession: A novel of sex, politics, and the American way...

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-second-oldest-profession-dw-ulsterman/1120829214?ean=2940046425536

Witch Way Bends (Bend-Bite-Shift, #2)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/witch-way-bends-olivia-hardin/1107735419?ean=2940152686753

The Color of Heaven (The Color of Heaven Series, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/color-of-heaven-julianne-maclean/1100144334?ean=9780986842214

The Way We Fall (The Story of Us, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-way-we-fall-cassia-leo/1121228389?ean=2940152700527

Her Wicked Ways

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/her-wicked-ways-darcy-burke/1110616808?ean=2940033178674

Long Way Home (A Mangrove Island novel, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/long-way-home-neve-cottrell/1120604850?ean=2940046298239

A Long Way from Home (Wild West Adventures in Love)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-long-way-from-home-ella-camsen/1124084306?ean=2940153345222

CHRISTIAN/ CLEAN/ HISTORIC

Finding the Way Back (Forgiving Hearts Trilogy, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/finding-the-way-back-erin-landy/1123484716?ean=2940152826326

Love on the Range: A Looking Glass Lake Prequel

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/love-on-the-range-rebecca-nightsong/1124106056?ean=2940153125398

You've Got a Way With Me: A Beautiful Christian Romance Story

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/christian-romance-joanne-sawyer/1123872052?ean=2940153047430

The Founding Years sampler: Stand-In Rancher Daddy\A Family for the Rancher\A Rancher of Convenience

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/lih-lone-star-cowboy-league-renee-ryan/1123625842?ean=9781460397701

The Tender Years (Prairie Legacy Book #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/tender-years-janette-oke/1100395090?ean=9781585587377

Susannah's Story (Sweeping Montana Romance Series, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/mail-order-bride-ella-camsen/1122888747?ean=2940152717013

Finding Her Way

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/finding-her-way-leah-banicki/1113678021?ean=2940045051286

FICTION

Angel: Reverse (A:R 1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/angel-tricia-owens/1112305124?ean=2940044763364

The Bottle Stopper (The Paper Duchess, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-bottle-stopper-angeline-trevena/1123330835?ean=2940153202709

The Hour of the Time

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-hour-of-the-time-vincent-hobbes/1103948506?ean=2940011335280

50 Ways of Saying Fabulous Book 1 20th Anniversary Edition

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/50-ways-of-saying-fabulous-book-1-20th-anniversary-edition-graeme-aitken/1121869663?ean=2940151903219

SPIRITUALITY/ PHILOSOPHY/ RELIGION

24 Hour Mindfulness: How to be calmer and kinder in the midst of it all

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/24-hour-mindfulness-rohan-gunatillake/1122108956?ean=9781509807147

Experience the Now: How to Increase Your Level of Consciousness

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/experience-the-now-sullins-stuart-ma/1115306463?ean=2940033165896

Reiki For Beginners

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/reiki-for-beginners-alexander-yamashita/1122983175?ean=2940153164335

Reiki:A Complete Guide to Real Reiki

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/reiki-kristine-marie-corr/1123093224?ean=2940152806717

Chakras: A Complete Guide to Chakra Healing

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/chakras-kristine-corr/1124127667?ean=2940153379197

A One Hour Short & Sweet Zen Retreat

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/a-one-hour-short-sweet-zen-retreat-tai-sheridan-phd/1114620541?ean=2940044265929

An Introduction to the Way of the Buddha: Buddhism for Beginners

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/an-introduction-to-the-way-of-the-buddha-shalu-sharma/1123516490?ean=2940152917062

Planetary Hours, VOC Moons, Via Combusta and the Zodiac

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/planetary-hours-voc-moons-via-combusta-and-the-zodiac-cb-ezekwe/1118944015?ean=2940045777872

An Hour With George Müller

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/an-hour-with-george-m-ller-a-sims/1120320761?ean=9781312471955

Bible For Men: Great Bible Stories For Men

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/bible-for-men-speedy-publishing/1121147556?ean=9781681276236

The Last Hour: The Epistles of John Are Prophecy For Today

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-last-hour-gerald-flurry/1117683580?ean=9781304504364

MYSTERY/ THRILLER

Well Past Trouble: Zero Hour Trilogy part three

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/well-past-trouble-rob-lofthouse/1123110060?ean=9781784293499

The Hundred Year Wait

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-hundred-year-wait-amelia-price/1123153626?ean=2940152530735

The Good Soldier: Jack Noble Early Years Bundle (Noble Beginnings & A Deadly Distance)


http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-good-soldier-lt-ryan/1119068063?ean=2940046264463

The Four Hour Rule

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-four-hour-rule-robert-daniel-brooks/1116968781?ean=2940045280457

The Secret Hour (Killing Time, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-secret-hour-evie-ryan/1122134584?ean=2940151680141

48 Hours: A City of London Thriller

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/48-hours-a-city-of-london-thriller-j-jackson-bentley/1108021960?ean=2940032893028

Don't Look Back (Clytemnestra Stone Series)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/dont-look-back-r-m-nicholls/1123120724?ean=2940152667462

COVER ART

Swept Away: Charlie's Story (Taming a Bad Boy, #1)

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/swept-away-sierra-rose/1122784617?ean=2940152741650

GRAPHIC NOVEL

Imagined Mysteries: A Tribute to Leonard Nimoy

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/imagined-mysteries-anthony-woodward/1122703675?ean=2940152361063

POETRY

Shards Of Clay Swept Away Remains Of Yesterday

http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/shards-of-clay-swept-away-remains-of-yesterday-barbara-m-schwarz/1122425442?ean=2940152063790
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