Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Joke of the Day ....

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A man was getting a haircut prior to a trip to Rome.

He mentioned the trip to the barber who responded, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go there? It's crowded, dirty and full of Italians. You're crazy to go to Rome. So, how are you getting there?"

"We're taking TWA," was the reply. "We got a great rate!"
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"TWA?" exclaimed the barber. "That's a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are rude, and they're always late.
So, where are you staying in Rome?"

"We'll be at the downtown International Marriott."

"That dump! That's the worst hotel in the city. The rooms are small, the service is surly and they're overpriced. So, whatcha doing when you get there?"

"We're going to go to see the Vatican and we hope to see the Pope."

"That's rich," laughed the barber. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You're going to need it."

A month later, the man again came in for his regular haircut. The barber asked him about his trip to Rome.

"It was wonderful," explained the man, "not only were we on time in one of TWA's brand new planes, but it was overbooked and they bumped us up to first class.

The food and wine were wonderful, and we had several attentive stewardess who waited on us hand and foot.

And the hotel - it was great! They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling job and now it's the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the presidential suite at no extra charge!"

"Well," muttered the barber, "I know you didn't get to see the Pope."

"Actually, we were quite lucky, for as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained that the Pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors,
and if I'd be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the pope would personally greet me.
Sure enough, five minutes later the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke to me."

"Really?" asked the Barber. "What'd he say?"

"He said, `Where'd you get the lousy haircut?'"
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Tuesday, September 12, 2017

Summer Rerun ...

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Check the price, this is a previously posted list.



http://turningkey.blogspot.com/2016/04/free-friday-nook-books.html

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Joke of the Day ...

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Some river valleys are absolutely gorges.

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Monday, September 11, 2017

Joke of the Day ...

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A lawyer and two friends - a Rabbi, and a Hindu holy man - had car trouble in the countryside and asked to spend the night with a farmer.
The farmer said, "There might be a problem. You see, I only have room for two to sleep in the house. So one of you must sleep in the barn."
"No problem," chimed the Rabbi. "My people wandered in the desert for forty years. I am humble enough to sleep in the barn for one evening."
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With that he departed to the barn, and the others bedded down for the night.
Moments later a knock was heard at the door; the farmer opened the door. There stood the Rabbi from the barn.
"What's wrong?" asked the farmer.
He replied, "I am grateful to you, but I just can't sleep in the barn. There is a pig in the barn, and my faith believes that is an unclean animal."
His Hindu friend agrees to swap places with him. But a few minutes later the same scene reoccurs.
There is a knock on the door. "What's wrong?" the farmer asks.
The Hindu holy man replies, "I, too, am grateful for your helping us out, but there is a cow in the barn.
In my country cows are considered sacred and I can't sleep on holy ground!"
That left only the lawyer to make the change. He grumbled and complained, but went out to the barn.
Moments later there was another knock on the farmer's door.
Frustrated and tired, the farmer opens the door, and there stood the pig and the cow.

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Sunday, September 10, 2017

Jokes of the Day ...

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What do cows like on their hot dogs?
Moo-stard!
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What do cows like to eat for lunch?
Moo-shroom soup!
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Saturday, September 9, 2017

Jokes of the day

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What do cows like on their hot dogs?
Moo-stard!
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What do cows like to eat for lunch?
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Moo-shroom soup!

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