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Before Tomorrow
http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/before-tomorrow-pintip-dunn/1124796871?ean=9781633757714
Out of China
https://bookclubs.barnesandnoble.com/external-link.jspa?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.barnesandnoble.com%2Fw%2Fout-of-china-robert-bickers%2F1124743357%3Fean%3D9781846146190
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Thursday, October 13, 2016
Jokes of the Day ...
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Did you hear of the scientist who froze himself to absolute zero?
He was 0 k.
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A kingdom without a king is just dumb.
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“I love Huey Lewis, but not the News, because the News is too depressing.”
― Jarod Kintz
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Did you hear of the scientist who froze himself to absolute zero?
He was 0 k.
==============
A kingdom without a king is just dumb.
=================
“I love Huey Lewis, but not the News, because the News is too depressing.”
― Jarod Kintz
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Wednesday, October 12, 2016
Jokes of the Day .....
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What did one duck egg say to the other duck egg?
Let’s get quacking!
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What did one firefly say to the other?
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Let’s get quacking!
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What did one firefly say to the other?
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Got to glow now!
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What did one parrot say to the other parrot while sitting on a perch?
Can you smell fish?
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What did one parrot say to the other parrot while sitting on a perch?
Can you smell fish?
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Tuesday, October 11, 2016
Travel Guide of the Day ...
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(^_^) - My Inconclusive Travel Plans
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.
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I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.
I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.
I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.
One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country it was in. It's an age thing.
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I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.
...
I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.
I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.
I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.
One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country it was in. It's an age thing.
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Monday, October 10, 2016
Thoughts of the day ...
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1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
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2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
...
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: "You stay here. I'll go on a head."
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass".
16. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
17. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
18. A backward poet writes inverse.
19. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
20. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
21. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
22. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir! Only one carrion allowed per passenger."
23. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "Dam!"
24. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication
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5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: "You stay here. I'll go on a head."
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass".
16. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
17. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
18. A backward poet writes inverse.
19. In a democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
20. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
21. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
22. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir! Only one carrion allowed per passenger."
23. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "Dam!"
24. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication
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Sunday, October 9, 2016
Riddles of the Day ....
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Q. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A. A stick!
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Q. What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?
A. A towel.
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Q. You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?
A. An ear of corn.
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Can You Solve This Mystery?:
A man lives on the twelfth floor of an apartment building. Every morning he takes the elevator down to the lobby and leaves the building. In the evening, he gets into the elevator, and, if there is someone else in the elevator -- or if it was raining that day -- he goes back to his floor directly. Otherwise, he goes to the tenth floor and walks up two flights of stairs to his apartment. Why?
Solution: The man is a dwarf. He can’t reach the upper elevator buttons, but he can ask people to push them for him. He can also push them with his umbrella.
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Q. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A. A stick!
===============
Q. What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?
A. A towel.
============
Q. You throw away the outside and cook the inside. Then you eat the outside and throw away the inside. What did you eat?
A. An ear of corn.
================
Can You Solve This Mystery?:
A man lives on the twelfth floor of an apartment building. Every morning he takes the elevator down to the lobby and leaves the building. In the evening, he gets into the elevator, and, if there is someone else in the elevator -- or if it was raining that day -- he goes back to his floor directly. Otherwise, he goes to the tenth floor and walks up two flights of stairs to his apartment. Why?
Solution: The man is a dwarf. He can’t reach the upper elevator buttons, but he can ask people to push them for him. He can also push them with his umbrella.
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