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Why did dragons sleep through the day?
So they could fight knights!
===============
Why did the frog stop jumping?
It was un-hoppy!
================
Why do vampire films have such large a cast?
For all the bit parts!
===================
Why are goldfish orange?
They got rusty!
=====================
Why are leopards so bad at hide and seek?
They are always spotted!
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Tuesday, January 5, 2016
Monday, January 4, 2016
Jokes of the Day ...
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What happened to the man who crossed Darth Vader and a frog?
He got Star Warts!
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Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well!
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Why did the bird go to the gift shop?
Because he wanted a tweet!
====================
Why did the boy keep oiling the rat?
Because it wouldn’t stop squeaking!
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What happened to the man who crossed Darth Vader and a frog?
He got Star Warts!
==================
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well!
==================
Why did the bird go to the gift shop?
Because he wanted a tweet!
====================
Why did the boy keep oiling the rat?
Because it wouldn’t stop squeaking!
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Sunday, January 3, 2016
Are you too chicken to read these jokes?
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?
He was a dirty double crosser!
=================
Why did the chicken, the turkey, the duck, and the goose all cross the road?
For some fowl reason!
======================
Why did the Archaeopteryx catch the worm?
It was an early bird!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?
He was a dirty double crosser!
=================
Why did the chicken, the turkey, the duck, and the goose all cross the road?
For some fowl reason!
======================
Why did the Archaeopteryx catch the worm?
It was an early bird!
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Thoughts to ponder upon ...
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(^_^) - Think About It
I had amnesia once - or twice.
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible .. and I believed them.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a motorway.
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.
A flashlight is a carrying case for dead batteries.
What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Is there another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
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(^_^) - Think About It
I had amnesia once - or twice.
Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
If the world was a logical place, men would ride horses sidesaddle.
What is a "free" gift? Aren't all gifts free?
They told me I was gullible .. and I believed them.
Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to edge his car onto a motorway.
Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.
What if there were no hypothetical questions?
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
When the only tool you own is a hammer, every problem begins to look like a nail.
A flashlight is a carrying case for dead batteries.
What was the greatest thing before sliced bread?
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
The cost of living hasn't affected its popularity.
How can there be self-help "groups"?
Is there another word for synonym?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Is Marx's tomb a communist plot?
If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.
It's not an optical illusion. It just looks like one.
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.
.
Saturday, January 2, 2016
Songs of the Day ...
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsgXbSUMzR4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_f16t1JGHo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMVvRImExKc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txcRQedoEyY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QslV5asj_yM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1Ufc2hI4FM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uqBTzfcIk4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_raXzIRgsA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIVe-rZBcm4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHfB63ln1Ig
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1l0xpkk0yaQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Q7Vr3yQYWQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRKNw477onU
RETRO!!!!
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MsgXbSUMzR4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_f16t1JGHo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UMVvRImExKc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=txcRQedoEyY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QslV5asj_yM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M1Ufc2hI4FM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uqBTzfcIk4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_raXzIRgsA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIVe-rZBcm4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHfB63ln1Ig
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1l0xpkk0yaQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Q7Vr3yQYWQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qRKNw477onU
RETRO!!!!
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Jokes of the Day ...
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Why did the hen go halfway across the road and stop?
She wanted to lay it on the line!
===================
Why did the igloo not have a couch?
So polar bears couldn’t hide behind it!
=====================
Why did the chicken cross the beach?
To get to the other tide!
=====================
Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?
To get to the other size!
===============
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
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.
Why did the hen go halfway across the road and stop?
She wanted to lay it on the line!
===================
Why did the igloo not have a couch?
So polar bears couldn’t hide behind it!
=====================
Why did the chicken cross the beach?
To get to the other tide!
=====================
Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?
To get to the other size!
===============
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide!
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Friday, January 1, 2016
Jokes of the Day ...
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HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Why did the skeleton stop going to soccer practice?
His heart wasn’t in it!
===============
Why didn’t dinosaurs have police?
They couldn’t fit in the uniforms!
===================
Why did the teacher draw on the window?
Because she wanted her lesson to be completely clear!
========================
What happened to the man who crossed chickens with a railway?
He invented eggs-press trains!
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.
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HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Why did the skeleton stop going to soccer practice?
His heart wasn’t in it!
===============
Why didn’t dinosaurs have police?
They couldn’t fit in the uniforms!
===================
Why did the teacher draw on the window?
Because she wanted her lesson to be completely clear!
========================
What happened to the man who crossed chickens with a railway?
He invented eggs-press trains!
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