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I'm a fig plucker I pluck figs. I'm the best fig plucker that ever plucked figs.
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Saturday, February 28, 2015
Jokes of the day ....
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Why do cars smell?
Because they’re full of gas!
==================
What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?
A teapot!
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Why do cars smell?
Because they’re full of gas!
==================
What starts with T, ends with T, and is full of T?
A teapot!
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Friday, February 27, 2015
Jokes of the Day ....
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What building has the most stories?
The library!
============================
What did one paper towel say to the other?
“These people keeping ripping me off!”
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What building has the most stories?
The library!
============================
What did one paper towel say to the other?
“These people keeping ripping me off!”
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Thursday, February 26, 2015
Quote of the day ....
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“Pride is a funny thing; it can make what is truly worthless appear to be a treasure.”
― Alice Hoffman, Practical Magic
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“Pride is a funny thing; it can make what is truly worthless appear to be a treasure.”
― Alice Hoffman, Practical Magic
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Tongue Twister of the Day ....
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I saw a saw in Arkansas that can out saw any saw you ever saw. If you have a saw that can out saw the saw that I saw in Arkansas I'd like to see your saw, saw.
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I saw a saw in Arkansas that can out saw any saw you ever saw. If you have a saw that can out saw the saw that I saw in Arkansas I'd like to see your saw, saw.
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Jokes of the day ....
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What is full of holes but can still carry water?
A sponge!
=================
How many months have 28 days?
All of them!
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What is full of holes but can still carry water?
A sponge!
=================
How many months have 28 days?
All of them!
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Wednesday, February 25, 2015
Recommended Movie of the Day ....
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The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
"British retirees travel to India to take up residence in what they believe is a newly restored hotel. Less luxurious than its advertisements, the Marigold Hotel nevertheless slowly begins to charm in unexpected ways."
I just loved this movie! The star power was dazzling, the plot charming, the premise intriguing and the resolutions most satisfactory.
Also - In my opinion, they should send Maggie Smith a big box of Oscars every year for everything she does.
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The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel
"British retirees travel to India to take up residence in what they believe is a newly restored hotel. Less luxurious than its advertisements, the Marigold Hotel nevertheless slowly begins to charm in unexpected ways."
I just loved this movie! The star power was dazzling, the plot charming, the premise intriguing and the resolutions most satisfactory.
Also - In my opinion, they should send Maggie Smith a big box of Oscars every year for everything she does.
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Jokes of the day ....
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Did you take a bath last night?
No. Is there one missing?
================
What did one hammer say to the other?
“I broke a nail”
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Did you take a bath last night?
No. Is there one missing?
================
What did one hammer say to the other?
“I broke a nail”
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Tuesday, February 24, 2015
Tongue twister of the day ...
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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck would chuck as much wood as a wood chuck could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood.
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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? A wood chuck would chuck as much wood as a wood chuck could chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood.
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Jokes of the day ....
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Why didn’t the two 4’s want any dinner?
Because they already 8!
---------------------
What did the momma broom say to the baby broom?
It’s time to sweep!
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Why didn’t the two 4’s want any dinner?
Because they already 8!
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What did the momma broom say to the baby broom?
It’s time to sweep!
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Monday, February 23, 2015
Jokes of the day .....
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What lets you walk through walls?
A door!
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What do you call a fairy who never takes a bath?
Stinkerbell!
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What lets you walk through walls?
A door!
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What do you call a fairy who never takes a bath?
Stinkerbell!
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Sunday, February 22, 2015
Jokes of the day ....
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What do you find in the middle of nowhere?
The letter “h” !
================
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold!
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What do you find in the middle of nowhere?
The letter “h” !
================
Which is faster, hot or cold?
Hot, because you can catch a cold!
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Saturday, February 21, 2015
Tongue twister of the day ....
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Betty Botter bought a bit of butter.
The butter Betty Botter bought was a bit bitter
And made her batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter makes better batter.
So Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter
Making Betty Botter's bitter batter better
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Betty Botter bought a bit of butter.
The butter Betty Botter bought was a bit bitter
And made her batter bitter.
But a bit of better butter makes better batter.
So Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter
Making Betty Botter's bitter batter better
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Jokes of the day ...
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How do you know the ocean is friendly?
Because it waves!
=======================
What has two hands but can’t clap?
A clock!
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How do you know the ocean is friendly?
Because it waves!
=======================
What has two hands but can’t clap?
A clock!
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Friday, February 20, 2015
Tongue twister of the day ....
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She sells sea-shells on the sea-shore. The shells she sells are sea-shells, I'm sure. For if she sells sea-shells on the sea-shore. Then I'm sure she sells sea-shore shells.
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She sells sea-shells on the sea-shore. The shells she sells are sea-shells, I'm sure. For if she sells sea-shells on the sea-shore. Then I'm sure she sells sea-shore shells.
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Thursday, February 19, 2015
Tongue twister of the day ...
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I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit.
say ten times fast ...
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I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit.
say ten times fast ...
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Jokes of the day ...
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What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look, I’m changing!
=========================
What did the summer say to the spring?
Help, I’m going to fall!
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What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look, I’m changing!
=========================
What did the summer say to the spring?
Help, I’m going to fall!
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Wednesday, February 18, 2015
Jokes of the day ....
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What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look, I’m changing!
=========================
What did the summer say to the spring?
Help, I’m going to fall!
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What did the traffic light say to the car?
Don’t look, I’m changing!
=========================
What did the summer say to the spring?
Help, I’m going to fall!
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Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Tongue Twister of the day ...
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One smart fellow, he felt smart. Two smart fellows, they felt smart.
(Say this ten times fast.)
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One smart fellow, he felt smart. Two smart fellows, they felt smart.
(Say this ten times fast.)
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Jokes of the day ....
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What did one pencil say to the other?
You’re looking sharp!
---------------------------
Why was the clock sent to the principal’s office?
Because he was tocking too much!
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What did one pencil say to the other?
You’re looking sharp!
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Why was the clock sent to the principal’s office?
Because he was tocking too much!
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Monday, February 16, 2015
Jokes of the day ...
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9!
===========================
Why did the eggs get thrown out of the classroom?
Because they kept cracking yokes!
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 8 9!
===========================
Why did the eggs get thrown out of the classroom?
Because they kept cracking yokes!
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Sunday, February 15, 2015
Jokes of the day ...
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What word is always spelled incorrectly?
Incorrectly!
=====================
Why did Matthew walk backwards to school?
Because it was back to school day!
Incorrectly!
=====================
Why did Matthew walk backwards to school?
Because it was back to school day!
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Movie recommendation of the day ....
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Safety Not Guaranteed
Director: Colin Trevorrow
"Anyone tired of predictable Hollywood blowhardism needs to check out Safety Not Guaranteed. This little gem of a movie keeps the viewer guessing from pretty much the first frame, and one becomes so engaged and excited to see what's around the next corner or in the next scene. Safety Not Guaranteed is briskly directed by Colin Trevorrow, and features a quirky script by Derek Connolly that's warm-hearted but never self-conscious--quite an achievement."
I liked it and was interested in what was going to happen.
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Safety Not Guaranteed
Director: Colin Trevorrow
"Anyone tired of predictable Hollywood blowhardism needs to check out Safety Not Guaranteed. This little gem of a movie keeps the viewer guessing from pretty much the first frame, and one becomes so engaged and excited to see what's around the next corner or in the next scene. Safety Not Guaranteed is briskly directed by Colin Trevorrow, and features a quirky script by Derek Connolly that's warm-hearted but never self-conscious--quite an achievement."
I liked it and was interested in what was going to happen.
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.Recommended Audio Book of the Day ...
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Recommended Audio Book of the Day ...
The Defining Moment: FDR's Hundred Days and the Triumph of Hope
by Jonathan Alter (Author), Grover Gardner (Narrator)
"In this dramatic and fascinating account, Newsweek columnist Jonathan Alter shows how Franklin Delano Roosevelt used his first one hundred days in office to lift the country from the despair and paralysis of the Great Depression and transform the American presidency. Instead of becoming the dictator so many wanted in those first days, FDR rescued banks, put men to work immediately, and laid the groundwork for his most ambitious achievements, including what eventually became the Social Security Administration."
Lots of interesting things I didn't know about our history at that time.
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Recommended Audio Book of the Day ...
The Defining Moment: FDR's Hundred Days and the Triumph of Hope
by Jonathan Alter (Author), Grover Gardner (Narrator)
"In this dramatic and fascinating account, Newsweek columnist Jonathan Alter shows how Franklin Delano Roosevelt used his first one hundred days in office to lift the country from the despair and paralysis of the Great Depression and transform the American presidency. Instead of becoming the dictator so many wanted in those first days, FDR rescued banks, put men to work immediately, and laid the groundwork for his most ambitious achievements, including what eventually became the Social Security Administration."
Lots of interesting things I didn't know about our history at that time.
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Jokes of the day ....
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There are three types of people in the world.
Those that can count, and those that can’t!
--------------------------
Why is the math book so unhappy?
Because it’s full of problems!
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There are three types of people in the world.
Those that can count, and those that can’t!
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Why is the math book so unhappy?
Because it’s full of problems!
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Friday, February 13, 2015
Jokes of the day ....
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What goes up but never comes down?
Your age!
=================
What is an eight letter word that has only one letter in it?
An envelope!
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What goes up but never comes down?
Your age!
=================
What is an eight letter word that has only one letter in it?
An envelope!
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Thursday, February 12, 2015
Jokes of the day ....
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Why did George Washington sleep standing up?
Because he couldn’t lie!
====================
Why did the doctor lose his temper?
Because he didn’t have any patients!
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Why did George Washington sleep standing up?
Because he couldn’t lie!
====================
Why did the doctor lose his temper?
Because he didn’t have any patients!
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Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Jokes of the day ....
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What nails to carpenters hate to hit?
Fingernails!
===============
What do you call a flying policeman?
A helicopper!
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What nails to carpenters hate to hit?
Fingernails!
===============
What do you call a flying policeman?
A helicopper!
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Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Jokes of the day ...
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What gets bigger the more you take from it?
A hole!
================
How long does it take for a gymnast to get to class?
A split second!
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What gets bigger the more you take from it?
A hole!
================
How long does it take for a gymnast to get to class?
A split second!
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Monday, February 9, 2015
.Audiobook recommendation of the day ...
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Audiobook recommendation of the day ...
The History of the Medieval World: From the Conversion of Constantine to the First Crusade by Susan Wise Bauer
A masterful narrative of the Middle Ages, when religion became a weapon for kings all over the world.
From the schism between Rome and Constantinople to the rise of the T’ang Dynasty, from the birth of Muhammad to the crowning of Charlemagne, this erudite book tells the fascinating, often violent story of kings, generals, and the peoples they ruled.
Sweeping panorama of history and the reader John Lee does a great job with the dense material.
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Audiobook recommendation of the day ...
The History of the Medieval World: From the Conversion of Constantine to the First Crusade by Susan Wise Bauer
A masterful narrative of the Middle Ages, when religion became a weapon for kings all over the world.
From the schism between Rome and Constantinople to the rise of the T’ang Dynasty, from the birth of Muhammad to the crowning of Charlemagne, this erudite book tells the fascinating, often violent story of kings, generals, and the peoples they ruled.
Sweeping panorama of history and the reader John Lee does a great job with the dense material.
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Jokes of the day ....
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Why do eskimos do their laundry in Tide?
Because it’s too cold out-tide!
==========================
Why did the man throw his watch out the window?
He wanted to see time fly!
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Why do eskimos do their laundry in Tide?
Because it’s too cold out-tide!
==========================
Why did the man throw his watch out the window?
He wanted to see time fly!
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Sunday, February 8, 2015
.Recommended audiobook book of the day ...
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Recommended audiobook book of the day ...
Coolidge by Amity Shlaes
"Amity Shlaes, author of The Forgotten Man, delivers a brilliant and provocative reexamination of America’s thirtieth president, Calvin Coolidge, and the decade of unparalleled growth that the nation enjoyed under his leadership. In this riveting biography, Shlaes traces Coolidge’s improbable rise from a tiny town in New England to a youth so unpopular he was shut out of college fraternities at Amherst College up through Massachusetts politics.
After a divisive period of government excess and corruption, Coolidge restored national trust in Washington and achieved what few other peacetime presidents have: He left office with a federal budget smaller than the one he inherited.
A man of calm discipline, he lived by example, renting half of a two-family house for his entire political career rather than compromise his political work by taking on debt. Renowned as a throwback, Coolidge was in fact strikingly modern—an advocate of women’s suffrage and a radio pioneer.
At once a revision of man and economics, Coolidge gestures to the country we once were and reminds us of qualities we had forgotten and can use today. "
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Recommended audiobook book of the day ...
Coolidge by Amity Shlaes
"Amity Shlaes, author of The Forgotten Man, delivers a brilliant and provocative reexamination of America’s thirtieth president, Calvin Coolidge, and the decade of unparalleled growth that the nation enjoyed under his leadership. In this riveting biography, Shlaes traces Coolidge’s improbable rise from a tiny town in New England to a youth so unpopular he was shut out of college fraternities at Amherst College up through Massachusetts politics.
After a divisive period of government excess and corruption, Coolidge restored national trust in Washington and achieved what few other peacetime presidents have: He left office with a federal budget smaller than the one he inherited.
A man of calm discipline, he lived by example, renting half of a two-family house for his entire political career rather than compromise his political work by taking on debt. Renowned as a throwback, Coolidge was in fact strikingly modern—an advocate of women’s suffrage and a radio pioneer.
At once a revision of man and economics, Coolidge gestures to the country we once were and reminds us of qualities we had forgotten and can use today. "
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Jokes of the day ....
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What has 4 legs but can’t walk?
A table!
==============
Why did the king draw straight lines?
Because he was the ruler!
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What has 4 legs but can’t walk?
A table!
==============
Why did the king draw straight lines?
Because he was the ruler!
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Saturday, February 7, 2015
Jokes of the day ...
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Why did the boy wear diapers to the party?
Because he was a party-pooper!
==================
Why was the belt arrested?
Because it held up some pants
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Why did the boy wear diapers to the party?
Because he was a party-pooper!
==================
Why was the belt arrested?
Because it held up some pants
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Friday, February 6, 2015
Jokes of the Day .....
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What did the stamp say to the envelope?
Stick with me and we will go places.
=================
What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
I think I’m coming down with something.
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What did the stamp say to the envelope?
Stick with me and we will go places.
=================
What did one elevator say to the other elevator?
I think I’m coming down with something.
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Thursday, February 5, 2015
Jokes of the day ...
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What did Cinderalla say when her photos did not show up?
Someday my prints will come.
================
What did the stamp say to the envelope?
Stick with me and we will go places.
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What did Cinderalla say when her photos did not show up?
Someday my prints will come.
================
What did the stamp say to the envelope?
Stick with me and we will go places.
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Wednesday, February 4, 2015
New Human Species of the Day ...
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Denisovan - Denisovans or Denisova hominins /dəˈniːsəvə/ are an extinct species of human in the genus Homo. In March 2010, scientists announced the discovery of a finger bone fragment of a juvenile female who lived about 41,000 years ago, found in the remote Denisova Cave in the Altai Mountains in Siberia, a cave which has also been inhabited by Neanderthals and modern humans. Two teeth and a toe bone belonging to different members of the same population have since been reported.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYvJzlhqlUg
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Denisovan - Denisovans or Denisova hominins /dəˈniːsəvə/ are an extinct species of human in the genus Homo. In March 2010, scientists announced the discovery of a finger bone fragment of a juvenile female who lived about 41,000 years ago, found in the remote Denisova Cave in the Altai Mountains in Siberia, a cave which has also been inhabited by Neanderthals and modern humans. Two teeth and a toe bone belonging to different members of the same population have since been reported.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYvJzlhqlUg
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Quote of the day ...
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“I just want to thank everyone who made this day necessary.”
― Yogi Berra
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“I just want to thank everyone who made this day necessary.”
― Yogi Berra
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Jokes of the day ....
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What did the paper say to the pencil?
Write on!
============
What gets wetter as it dries?
A towel.
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What did the paper say to the pencil?
Write on!
============
What gets wetter as it dries?
A towel.
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Tuesday, February 3, 2015
Jokes of the day...
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Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed!
=================
What did one wall say to other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner.
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Why did the picture go to jail?
Because it was framed!
=================
What did one wall say to other wall?
I’ll meet you at the corner.
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Monday, February 2, 2015
Jokes of the day ...
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What goes up and down but does not move?
Stairs.
==========================
What did one toilet say to another?
You look kind of flushed.
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What goes up and down but does not move?
Stairs.
==========================
What did one toilet say to another?
You look kind of flushed.
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Sunday, February 1, 2015
Jokes of the day ...
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What do you call a famous monster?
Mon-star!
====================
What kind of witch lives on the beach?
A sand witch!
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What do you call a famous monster?
Mon-star!
====================
What kind of witch lives on the beach?
A sand witch!
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