Sunday, June 30, 2019

Joke of the day ...


.
.
.
If you're sitting in public and a stranger sits down next to you, stare straight ahead and say in a low intense voice, "Did you bring the money?"

.
.
.

Saturday, June 29, 2019

Joke of the day ...

.
.
.
You know what's really odd?


Numbers not divisible by two.


================

.
.
.

Free Nook Books

.
.
.
.
.
This is a constantly updating list of free Nook Books. The categories are on the left side of the page.



.
.
.

Nook Audio

.
.
.
$2.99

The Conquerors

by Michael R. Beschloss

Read by Michael R. Beschloss

https://www.nookaudiobooks.com/audiobook/33532/conquerors-the

.
.
.

Joke of the day

.
.
.
I have a pen that can write underwater. It can write other words too.

.
.
.

Kindle

.
.
.
The Poet's Apprentice: An Edwardian Mystery (Montclaire Weekend Mysteries Book 6)

https://www.amazon.com/Poets-Apprentice-Edwardian-Montclaire-Mysteries-ebook/dp/B00FKP96N2/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Chase Baker and The Lincoln Curse: An Action and Adventure Suspense Thriller (A Chase Baker Series Book 4)

https://www.amazon.com/Chase-Baker-Lincoln-Curse-Adventure-ebook/dp/B014O8BJIK/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

One More Horizon: The Inspiring Story of One Man's Solo Journey Around the World on a Mountain Bike

https://www.amazon.com/One-More-Horizon-Inspiring-Mountain-ebook/dp/B06Y16ZHP8/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Texas Darlings (4 Christian contemporary romance novellas in 1)

https://www.amazon.com/Darlings-Christian-contemporary-romance-novellas-ebook/dp/B00V3GWUCG/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

U.S.S. Seawolf: Submarine Raider of the Pacific

https://www.amazon.com/U-S-S-Seawolf-Submarine-Raider-Pacific-ebook/dp/B07499NTWZ/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_12?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=PJ49H32ZXVHJMF29MR7D

The Collapse of the Soviet Union: The History of the USSR Under Mikhail Gorbachev

https://www.amazon.com/Collapse-Soviet-Union-History-Gorbachev-ebook/dp/B07THLGWQY/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_24?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=PJ49H32ZXVHJMF29MR7D

Cyrus the Great

https://www.amazon.com/Cyrus-Great-Life-Beginning-End-ebook/dp/B07TJZH5VV/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_29?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=PJ49H32ZXVHJMF29MR7D

The Bean Soup Cookbook: 49 Recipes

https://www.amazon.com/Bean-Soup-Cookbook-Recipes-Lovers-ebook/dp/B07RJR8R3H/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_39?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=PJ49H32ZXVHJMF29MR7D

Meatless Monday: 30 Homemade Vegetarian

https://www.amazon.com/Meatless-Monday-Homemade-Vegetarian-Recipes-ebook/dp/B07RQ6YGNN/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_50?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=PJ49H32ZXVHJMF29MR7D

.
.
.

Thursday, June 27, 2019

Jokes of the day

.
.
.
Therapist: You seem unable to describe your feelings.

Patient: I can't say that I'm surprised.

==============

Did you hear about the guy that sued over his missing luggage?

He lost his case.

=================

Ed: Tell me about that new do it yourself orthodontist class you took.

Fred: Brace yourself.

=========


I can tell if someone is lying just by looking at them. I can tell if they're standing too.


.
.
.

Kindle

.
.
.
.
In Plain Sight: Felix A. Sommerfeld, Spymaster in Mexico, 1908 to 1914

https://www.amazon.com/Plain-Sight-Sommerfeld-Spymaster-Mexico-ebook/dp/B00ADBDA8A/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Saints & Scoundrels: Thirty-Two, True Stories of Colorful Characters of the American West

https://www.amazon.com/Saints-Scoundrels-Thirty-Two-Colorful-Characters-ebook/dp/B00TTERD6M/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

The United States Constitution

https://www.amazon.com/United-States-Constitution-USA-ebook/dp/B00GJZ70LC/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Hate Speech Law

https://www.amazon.com/Hate-Speech-Law-Philosophical-Contemporary-ebook-dp-B00UASQ3IU/dp/B00UASQ3IU/ref=mt_kindle?_encoding=UTF8&me=&qid=

Stalin’s Constitution (Open Access)

https://www.amazon.com/Stalins-Constitution-Participatory-Discussion-Routledge-ebook/dp/B0779FQWBL/ref=zg_bs_156915011_f_19?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=NN9S5PNJC6J300MAJZBF

Equality under the Constitution

https://www.amazon.com/Equality-under-Constitution-Reclaiming-Fourteenth-ebook/dp/B07BB3KJK1/ref=zg_bs_156915011_f_24?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=NN9S5PNJC6J300MAJZBF

Babylonian and Assyrian Laws, Contracts

https://www.amazon.com/Babylonian-Assyrian-Laws-Contracts-Letters-ebook/dp/B004UJOU7Q/ref=zg_bs_156915011_f_31?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=NN9S5PNJC6J300MAJZBF

Volcanic Unrest

https://www.amazon.com/Volcanic-Unrest-Science-Advances-Volcanology-ebook/dp/B07G33JBFY/ref=zg_bs_156915011_f_28?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=NN9S5PNJC6J300MAJZBF

Library of the World's Best Mystery and Detective Stories

https://www.amazon.com/Library-Worlds-Mystery-Detective-Stories-ebook/dp/B0083ZMPWA/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=


(Audio book is 99 cents:


https://www.amazon.com/Library-Worlds-Mystery-Detective-Stories/dp/B007K56H3C/ref=tmm_aud_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Prisoner's Lawyers

https://www.amazon.com/Prisoners-Lawyers-Save-American-Economy-ebook/dp/B071L7CMXT/ref=zg_bs_156915011_f_35?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=NN9S5PNJC6J300MAJZBF

Mirage of Police Reform: Procedural Justice

https://www.amazon.com/Mirage-Police-Reform-Procedural-Legitimacy-ebook/dp/B077PFD3ZQ/ref=zg_bs_156915011_f_36?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=NN9S5PNJC6J300MAJZBF

Business Law: The Basic Concepts of Business Law (Business Skills Book 3)

https://www.amazon.com/Business-Law-Basic-Concepts-Skills-ebook/dp/B07QKXM473/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

School Violence & Workplace Violence: Risk Assessment

https://www.amazon.com/School-Violence-Workplace-Risk-Assessment-ebook/dp/B002WN2YR0/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=School+Violence+%26+Workplace+Violence%3A+Risk+Assessment&qid=1561634432&s=digital-text&sr=1-1


===============

This book is one cent!


The Secret Book of Dzyan: Unveiling the Hidden Truth about the Oldest Manuscript in the World and Its Divine Authors (Sacred Wisdom 2)

https://www.amazon.com/Secret-Book-Dzyan-Unveiling-Manuscript-ebook/dp/B07JR8DVZZ/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=The+Secret+Book+of+Dzyan%3A+Unveiling+the+Hidden+Truth+about+the+Oldest+Manuscript+in+the+World+and+Its+Divine+Authors+%28Sacred+Wisdom+2%29&qid=1561633629&s=gateway&sr=8-1


Gita


https://www.amazon.com/Exploring-Bhagavad-Gita-Philosophy-Structure-ebook/dp/B01ENQ06DC/ref=pd_sim_351_3/147-5551367-0381439?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B01ENQ06DC&pd_rd_r=dd58fba1-98cb-11e9-9b81-677d337b8ee9&pd_rd_w=MrQpk&pd_rd_wg=SPzKq&pf_rd_p=a098ee4c-2e0f-4821-b463-d4b049053104&pf_rd_r=T925VZP6AE5YYDQNZGB1&psc=1&refRID=T925VZP6AE5YYDQNZGB1

.
.
.

Wednesday, June 26, 2019

Joke of the day

.
.
.
What kind of shoes do ninjas wear?


Sneakers!

.
.
.

Nook Audio

.
.
.
$4.99


Miramar Bay

by Davis Bunn

Read by Graham Winton


https://www.nookaudiobooks.com/audiobook/165280/miramar-bay

.
.
.

Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Joke of the day

.
.
.


Why did the horse go to the mall?



To get to Old Naaaaayyyyyyyyyy ... vy.
.
.
.

Nook Audio

.
.
.
$4.99

Country


by Danielle Steel


Read by Dan John Miller


https://www.nookaudiobooks.com/audiobook/91407/country

.
.
.

Jokes of the day

.
.
.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Olive!
Olive who?
Olive you!

============

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Somebody too short to ring the doorbell.

=============

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Alex!
Alex who?
Alex the questions round here!

=========
.
.
.

Nook Audio

.
.
.
Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder

by Joanne Fluke

Read by Suzanne Toren



https://www.nookaudiobooks.com/audiobook/01016/chocolate-chip-cookie-murder

.
.
.

Sunday, June 23, 2019

Jokes of the day

.
.
.
Why should you never date tennis players?

Love means nothing to them.

============

How do you weigh a millennial?

In Instagrams.

==============

Ed: The same bike tries to run me down every day on the way to school.

Fred: Sounds like a vicious cycle.

============
.
.
.

Nook Audio

.
.
.
$4.99

What Color Is Your Parachute? 2019

by Richard N. Bolles

Read by Mel Foster


https://www.nookaudiobooks.com/audiobook/209081/what-color-is-your-parachute-2019

.
.
.

Saturday, June 22, 2019

Nook Audio

.
.
.
$2.99

The Line Between

by Tosca Lee

Read by Cassandra Campbell


https://www.nookaudiobooks.com/audiobook/250003/line-between-the

.
.
.

Nook Audio

.
.
.
$4.99


The Rains

by Gregg Hurwitz

Read by Todd Haberkorn

https://www.nookaudiobooks.com/audiobook/126588/rains-the

.
.
.

Jokes of the day

.
.
.
How does the Atlantic Ocean pay its bills?

With sand dollars.

=================

Which is braver, a rock or a stump?

A rock, because it's a little boulder.

========
.
.
.

Joke of the day

.
.
.
(^_^) - Darned Old Age!

A couple in their nineties are BOTH having problems remembering things. They decide to go to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor tells them that they're physically in good condition for their age, but if they are having trouble remembering they might want to start writing things down to help them.

Later that night while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Where are you going?" his wife asks.

"To the kitchen" he replies.

"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"

"Sure."

"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks, recalling the doctor's suggestion.

"No, I can remember it."

"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. You'd better write it down because you know you'll forget it."

He says, "I can remember that! You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."

"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, so you'd better write it down!" she retorts.

Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down. Just don't start with that! Leave me alone!! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream. I got it, for goodness sake!" Then he grumbles on into the kitchen.

After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.

She stares at the plate for a moment and says, "Where's my toast?"

.
.
.

Nook Audio

.
.
.
Death in the Off-Season

by Francine Mathews

Read by Madeleine Maby


https://www.nookaudiobooks.com/audiobook/203815/death-in-the-off-season

.
.
.

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Jokes of the day

.
.
.
=================

Which is braver, a rock or a stump?

A rock, because it's a little boulder.

========

“Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.”

― Steven Wright

=================

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?

A: No, 35 children is enough

==============
.
.
.

Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Joke of the day

.
.
.
What do they call a really famous cow?


A legend-DAIRY cow.

.
.
.



Nook Audio

.
.
.
$3.99

The Philosopher's Flight

by Tom Miller

Read by Gibson Frazier



https://www.nookaudiobooks.com/audiobook/201735/philosophers-flight-the

.
.
.

Monday, June 17, 2019

Nook Audio

.
.
.
$4.99

Blue Dahlia

by Nora Roberts

Read by Susie Breck


https://www.nookaudiobooks.com/audiobook/02282/blue-dahlia

.
.
.

Joke of the day ...

.
.
.
Don't tell secrets in the garden. The potatoes have eyes, the corn has ears, and the beanstalk.


.
.
.

Sunday, June 16, 2019

Jokes of the day

.
.
.
============

What do you call a dead mitochondrion?

A MITOCHONDRI-OFF

=================

When studying the respiration of primates my old zoology teacher said "You may think the mucus membrane is gross, but it's snot"

=======

Before taking a vacation a nuclear scientist hung a "Gone Fission" sign on his office door.

==========

.
.
.

Saturday, June 15, 2019

Jokes of the day

.
.
.
================

How many dance teachers does it take to change a light bulb?

Five............Six... Seven... Eight!

==================

I asked my friend why her nose was so red. She said, “I sniffed a brose.”

“There's no B in rose.”

“There was in the one I sniffed.”

============

How do you make Holy water?

You boil the h*** out of it.

.
.
.

Nook Audio

.
.
.
$4.99

Dog On It

by Spencer Quinn

Read by Jim Frangione


https://www.nookaudiobooks.com/audiobook/09244/dog-on-it

.
.
.

Kindle

.
.
.
The Last Bite (A Deadline Cozy Mystery Book 4)

https://www.amazon.com/Last-Bite-Deadline-Cozy-Mystery-ebook/dp/B01LWRGIRY/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

A Stoneybrook Mystery Collection: A Cozy Mystery Box Set Books 1-3

https://www.amazon.com/Stoneybrook-Mystery-Collection-Cozy-Books-ebook/dp/B07PYT4XRY/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

A Flaky Alibi (A Stoneybrook Mystery Book 4)

https://www.amazon.com/Flaky-Alibi-Stoneybrook-Mystery-Book-ebook/dp/B07KHTS8W8/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Crystal Healing: For All Astrological Signs (Natural Remedies Book 2)

https://www.amazon.com/Crystal-Healing-Astrological-Natural-Remedies-ebook/dp/B00WVGDJ9A/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Stake-Out (Paranormal Detectives Series Book 1)

https://www.amazon.com/Stake-Out-Paranormal-Detectives-Book-1-ebook/dp/B00XUV5FCE/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Miranda's Rights (Paranormal Detective Series Book 2)

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01ABM4M32?ref_=dbs_t_r_nis_dp&storeType=ebooks

Against Her Will: The Senseless Murder of Kelly Ann Tinyes

https://www.amazon.com/Against-Her-Will-Senseless-Murder-ebook/dp/B009Z0XQE8/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

The Groovy Green Kitchen

https://www.amazon.com/Groovy-Green-Kitchen-Weeknight-Veggie-ebook/dp/B00EN0ZB5M/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Andrew Carnegie: A Life From Beginning to End (Biographies of Business Leaders Book 5)

https://www.amazon.com/Andrew-Carnegie-Beginning-Biographies-Business-ebook/dp/B07K7Z48LR/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Akkadian Empire: A History From Beginning to End (Mesopotamia History Book 2)

https://www.amazon.com/Akkadian-Empire-History-Beginning-Mesopotamia-ebook/dp/B07KX51B71/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Orphan Moon

https://www.amazon.com/Orphan-Moon-T-K-Lukas-ebook/dp/B00VNA61WW/ref=tmm_kin_title_sr?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

The '90s: Life on the Road

https://www.amazon.com/90s-Life-Road-My-Book-ebook/dp/B07L2CNBFV/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_39?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=98B4VHE6Z2P03S98FFS7

BEGINNERS JOURNEY TO CRYSTAL HEALING: DISCOVER THE MYSTICAL, MAGICAL, AND POTENT HEALING POWER OF CRYSTALS, STONES, MINERALS

https://www.amazon.com/BEGINNERS-JOURNEY-CRYSTAL-HEALING-DISCOVER-ebook/dp/B07SJ93P3J/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_77?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=NX1AYF2DATND08Z22RT7

The Indian War of 1864

https://www.amazon.com/Indian-1864-Eugene-Fitch-Ware-ebook/dp/B07S3RJWLM/ref=zg_bs_157325011_f_96?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=NX1AYF2DATND08Z22RT7

.
.
.

Joke of the day

.
.
.
(^_^) Error Messages in Japan


In Japan, they have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft Error messages with Haiku poetry messages.


Haiku poetry has strict construction rules.

Each poem has only 3 lines, 17 syllables: five syllables in the first line, seven in the second, five in the third.

Haikus are used to communicate a timeless message, often achieving a wistful, yearning, and powerful insight through extreme brevity -- the essence of Zen.

*************

Your file was too big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
-------------------------------
The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
------------------------------
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
-----------------------------
Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
------------------------------
Windows 10 crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
------------------------------
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
===============

.
.
.

Nook Audio

.
.
.
$4.99

Reamde

by Neal Stephenson

Read by Malcolm Hillgartner


https://www.nookaudiobooks.com/audiobook/22036/reamde

.
.
.

Free Nook Books

.
.
.
.
.
.
This is a constantly updating list of free Nook Books. The categories are on the left side of the page.



.
.
.