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Wife: I feel like I look old today. Can you please give me a compliment to brighten up my day?
Husband: You have excellent eyesight.
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Husband: Hello 911? I think my wife is about to give birth, I don’t what to do!
911 Operator: Is this her first child?
Husband: No, this is her husband.
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Hey did you see the latest film about a hot dog vendor? I hear it was an Oscar Weiner.
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My brother has a band called 999 Megabytes. Unfortunately, they haven’t had a Gig yet..
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